Despite all the strangeness of this year, especially how it didn't feel like Christmas at all, I think that this year was one of the best as far as spending time with the ones I love goes :) I found out this Christmas that I really have about 4 or 5 families, each of which want to spend time with me. It was pretty crazy to have people who really want me around. That was the main difference about this year, and I think I like it.
It's crazy to me that as each year goes by I find that I want less and less as far as material things go. I remember a time when that was pretty much all that went through my head when Christmas came around. I'm not sure where the change came from, but I do know that I really like the new way of thinking. It makes Christmas mean a lot more than it used to to me, and I really enjoy the feeling of just being happy with being around the people I love most in life.
Merry Christmas all, and I hope this year was just as good for you guys as it was for me :)
December 25, 2010
December 23, 2010
The Sing-off
I just discovered this show not too long ago, and I loved it from the first time that I had the pleasure of viewing it! The talent that these people have on the show is incredible, and it's very hard to pick favorites. Every performance was simply spectacular, and I am excited to see the next season already! But a fair warning: these videos are actually pretty long, so you might want to either make sure you have enough time to view them, or simply watch them in part(s).
The first video is actually the second full episode of the second season, since I couldn't get the first episode for embedding, and the video below is the finale, it's pretty cool to be able to see the close-to-beginning paralleled with the ending to see how far the final contenders have come.
I hope you guys enjoy these amazing A Capella groups!
Christmas Time
I realized that Christmas is merely days away, and it occurred to me that this year really doesn't have the normal Christmas feel to it. I find it hard to believe that Christmas is in a couple days, and even if I did believe it fully, it saddens me to realize that I wouldn't care as much as I would like to.
However, in light of the decorations and lights and the colors on peoples' ugly Christmas sweaters, I have found the Christmas spirit quite late, and dressed in my green and red today, though it was really only because I was told that I needed to for the volunteer work I had signed up for, haha. I watched the merry shoppers come and go from shops in the mall as I wrapped gifts for random people. I wonder what goes on in their lives. How many of these people are losing their homes or buying on credit?
A year or so ago, I wouldn't have given much thought to the financial lives of people, but as I become more and more independent and pay for more and more things, I find that I feel more and more grown up, looking back on the good ol' days, rather than enjoying the new and coming years and saying that they are the best ones so far, like I used to.
I remember turning 15 and saying to myself that this was the age I wanted to stay for the rest of my life, then I turned 16, I liked that year too, but when I turned 17, I found that I loved that year best. Towards the end of year 17, I decided that I needed legal freedom, and yearned for age 18. Freedom was the word I focused on. I liked turning 18, it was liberating. Then, I grew up some in the short time it has been since I turned 18, and I realized that I liked being a kid. Granted, I am still very young, but I miss the good ol' days, when my biggest worries included staying up all night to get an English assignment done, or whether or not someone liked me at school. These days, my worries include where I am going to get a job, where I am going to live, how I am going to afford food every month, when I am going to get married, how I am going to be able to afford a car and the insurance needed to cover it, how I am going to learn to cook meals that someone other than myself can live through eating, and other random stuff like that.
I realize that life is merely beginning now; responsibility is falling on my shoulders to live my life and to support myself. I suddenly have to figure out what I want to be, who I want to spend the rest of my life with, and whether my dreams are going to be worth following anymore. I have to remember that many the choices I make these days have greater consequences than simply whether or not I am going to get in trouble when my parents find out.
Perhaps these are the reasons Christmas seems so different this year. I am becoming an adult, and the reality of it all is finally settling in. It's not a bad thing, no matter how bad it may have come across from what I said earlier, but it is new. Hopefully, I'll go beyond everyone's expectations for me, and I'll become a great young woman of God in the process. God-willing I will go far in this life, and I can't wait to get there :)
However, in light of the decorations and lights and the colors on peoples' ugly Christmas sweaters, I have found the Christmas spirit quite late, and dressed in my green and red today, though it was really only because I was told that I needed to for the volunteer work I had signed up for, haha. I watched the merry shoppers come and go from shops in the mall as I wrapped gifts for random people. I wonder what goes on in their lives. How many of these people are losing their homes or buying on credit?
A year or so ago, I wouldn't have given much thought to the financial lives of people, but as I become more and more independent and pay for more and more things, I find that I feel more and more grown up, looking back on the good ol' days, rather than enjoying the new and coming years and saying that they are the best ones so far, like I used to.
I remember turning 15 and saying to myself that this was the age I wanted to stay for the rest of my life, then I turned 16, I liked that year too, but when I turned 17, I found that I loved that year best. Towards the end of year 17, I decided that I needed legal freedom, and yearned for age 18. Freedom was the word I focused on. I liked turning 18, it was liberating. Then, I grew up some in the short time it has been since I turned 18, and I realized that I liked being a kid. Granted, I am still very young, but I miss the good ol' days, when my biggest worries included staying up all night to get an English assignment done, or whether or not someone liked me at school. These days, my worries include where I am going to get a job, where I am going to live, how I am going to afford food every month, when I am going to get married, how I am going to be able to afford a car and the insurance needed to cover it, how I am going to learn to cook meals that someone other than myself can live through eating, and other random stuff like that.
I realize that life is merely beginning now; responsibility is falling on my shoulders to live my life and to support myself. I suddenly have to figure out what I want to be, who I want to spend the rest of my life with, and whether my dreams are going to be worth following anymore. I have to remember that many the choices I make these days have greater consequences than simply whether or not I am going to get in trouble when my parents find out.
Perhaps these are the reasons Christmas seems so different this year. I am becoming an adult, and the reality of it all is finally settling in. It's not a bad thing, no matter how bad it may have come across from what I said earlier, but it is new. Hopefully, I'll go beyond everyone's expectations for me, and I'll become a great young woman of God in the process. God-willing I will go far in this life, and I can't wait to get there :)
December 14, 2010
The best in life
Great memories... great regrets. So easy to see the missed opportunities, little mistakes, and long-lost never-agains, yet it is often difficult to see the true beauty of moments shared, the lasting effects of a single night, the awe struck within us when we look over a majestic landscape... It only goes to show that sometimes the best moments may come easily, but holding on to those moments is where the challenge lies
December 8, 2010
Story of the Day - Prom King Fails
I got the following article from a new part of The Arbiter paper called The Dirty Potato, from Boise, ID. I in no way claim any credit for the following quoted material.
Former Prom King Now Struggles to Score Date
Rebecca De León
Once the proud ruler of Chief Joseph High School in Moses Lake, Wash., Chad Russell now lives a peaceful life among the commoners as Boise State University. Although his crown still rests proudly on his mother's mantle, Russell chose to humbly attend school and live a life outside of royalty.
Now, the former king of Chief Joseph's A Night at the Oscars Prom 2007 finds himself facing challenges he never dealt with during his reign in Washington. The female populace at this university does not bow to His Highness the way it did when he ruled his high school.
"I'm the same guy, but now, I just keep getting shot down," Russell said.
In high school, if a female attracted Russell's gaze, all he had to do was send one of his loyal minions to deliver an official message from the king expressing interest. Since it is frowned upon to turn down such a request from His Majesty, it was easy for Russell to have at times even many lady friends.
"That doesn't really work here," Russell said. "It's like nobody even knows I'm king of anything."
Russell's mother, Grace Norris, remains loyal to her son and his empire.
"He'll always be a king to me," she said. "Especially since he doesn't take after his father."
Former students from Chief Joseph High School have mixed feelings about their king's downfall.
"He was always a douchebag," said Alex Meeler, who lost the crown to Russell. "And he said I stole his girl, but I wouldn't touch her with a 10-foot pole. No way."
The elected prom queen differed.
"He was a gentleman," Stacy Peterson said. "But I don't really remember much after the first hour of prom. I think someone spiked the punch."
Although is seems his reputation does not precede him, Russell valiantly keeps his head up and his spirits high.
"I'm sure it'll be fine," he said. "I mean, I've put on a few pounds since them, but it's what's inside that really counts, right?"
This article is fake.
Former Prom King Now Struggles to Score Date
Rebecca De León
Once the proud ruler of Chief Joseph High School in Moses Lake, Wash., Chad Russell now lives a peaceful life among the commoners as Boise State University. Although his crown still rests proudly on his mother's mantle, Russell chose to humbly attend school and live a life outside of royalty.
Now, the former king of Chief Joseph's A Night at the Oscars Prom 2007 finds himself facing challenges he never dealt with during his reign in Washington. The female populace at this university does not bow to His Highness the way it did when he ruled his high school.
"I'm the same guy, but now, I just keep getting shot down," Russell said.
In high school, if a female attracted Russell's gaze, all he had to do was send one of his loyal minions to deliver an official message from the king expressing interest. Since it is frowned upon to turn down such a request from His Majesty, it was easy for Russell to have at times even many lady friends.
"That doesn't really work here," Russell said. "It's like nobody even knows I'm king of anything."
Russell's mother, Grace Norris, remains loyal to her son and his empire.
"He'll always be a king to me," she said. "Especially since he doesn't take after his father."
Former students from Chief Joseph High School have mixed feelings about their king's downfall.
"He was always a douchebag," said Alex Meeler, who lost the crown to Russell. "And he said I stole his girl, but I wouldn't touch her with a 10-foot pole. No way."
The elected prom queen differed.
"He was a gentleman," Stacy Peterson said. "But I don't really remember much after the first hour of prom. I think someone spiked the punch."
Although is seems his reputation does not precede him, Russell valiantly keeps his head up and his spirits high.
"I'm sure it'll be fine," he said. "I mean, I've put on a few pounds since them, but it's what's inside that really counts, right?"
This article is fake.
December 2, 2010
Snow Days - Meet Maxwell :)
There was a snow day for basically everyone in the Treasure Valley schools here in good ol' Idaho yesterday. I had driven to campus anyway that day so I found out once I had arrived and already braved the treacherous roads that there weren't any classes. I suppose most people would be upset; I was excited to just hang out on campus for a while and not have anything to do. I was able to hang out with a friend for most of the time that I was on campus, we ate Chick-fil-A and had white chocolate mochas, then we went over to a park and built a snowman. He's pretty awesome I must say, and I'm not just saying that because we made him and I'm biased haha. I really mean it! We set him on a bench so people could sit with him and take pictures if they wanted to, and he had shoes and legs and ear muffs and a cute little face. My friend named him Maxwell and I helped come up with the middle and last name, haha.
While we were there in making Maxwell come alive in the snow, we saw a guy a little ways from us also making a sculpture in the snow. His was a dragon with three heads and pretty good details all over it. I really liked it; it was pretty stunning to look at as it stood there frozen in the snow.
I thought about the art we had just created in the park, and I realized that there would be many people who would walk by Maxwell and this crazy and amazing looking dragon and take pictures either with them or around them. It was cool to think that we might have made someone's day later on when we had left to go back to our lives at school. Rarely do I get the chance to do something remarkable, and even if things are small like our snowman on the park bench, I think that they have the ability to make a difference in someone's life that day. :)
As we left the park, we turned back to give our final farewells to our frostbitten friend, and we saw the first people to take pictures with good ol' Maxwell C. Frostbite. Hopefully, I'll be given the opportunity to change lives for the better more often and in bigger ways. Perhaps this is something that I could look for in a career someday. Or maybe this is a simple gift that I will bring to the world as my own personal touch on the communities I come in contact with in my life.
While we were there in making Maxwell come alive in the snow, we saw a guy a little ways from us also making a sculpture in the snow. His was a dragon with three heads and pretty good details all over it. I really liked it; it was pretty stunning to look at as it stood there frozen in the snow.
I thought about the art we had just created in the park, and I realized that there would be many people who would walk by Maxwell and this crazy and amazing looking dragon and take pictures either with them or around them. It was cool to think that we might have made someone's day later on when we had left to go back to our lives at school. Rarely do I get the chance to do something remarkable, and even if things are small like our snowman on the park bench, I think that they have the ability to make a difference in someone's life that day. :)
As we left the park, we turned back to give our final farewells to our frostbitten friend, and we saw the first people to take pictures with good ol' Maxwell C. Frostbite. Hopefully, I'll be given the opportunity to change lives for the better more often and in bigger ways. Perhaps this is something that I could look for in a career someday. Or maybe this is a simple gift that I will bring to the world as my own personal touch on the communities I come in contact with in my life.
November 28, 2010
Broncos vs. a Wolf Pack
I watched the BSU vs. Reno game this last Friday, cheering vivaciously for the Broncos, making up for the fact that I hadn't worn my game day gear that night. The game started as I had thought it would, and it continued how I had hoped it would, the Wolf Pack gave a good fight and the Broncos did their usual greatness. Unfortunately, the ending was NOT what I had expected at all... In my opinion, the officials weren't very fair towards the Broncos in that game, calling things that were stupid or not even legitimate, and there was one instance that I remember clearly enough to reference that the officials just didn't call a clear and obvious pass interference that a Reno player made against a receiver at all...
As you can tell, I really like Boise State, haha. I get pretty into the games if they are decently interesting, which isn't very usual since the Broncos kind of steam roll over everyone they play. This game was very intense, and I was pretty upset when it ended, let me tell ya.
Being an avid Bronco fan, I thought about how biased I might be towards my team in that game against the Reno Wolf Pack. Perhaps the Broncos simply didn't play that well this night, but as I look back over their previous games and the scores and the stats behind those scores, I begin to wonder if I really am all that misplaced in my support. Maybe BSU is just really that great of a team. So far, thinking back, I have never been happy with the Boise defense, and I have never thought of Brotzman (the kicker who missed the two would've-been winning field goals) as being an incredible player. However, I have never seen the offensive blocks let so many players through to Kellen Moore (the quarterback, for those of you who don't live on Earth or just don't watch football haha); he's never been sacked so much in this entire season.
I concluded that, as much as all these people try to say that Boise State is such a stupid team or overrated or just lucky (which is a load of crap) or whatever, I think that BSU legitimately is an excellent team. They won 24 games straight before that game, if I recall correctly. And I'm pretty sure there aren't too many college teams out there with that kind of a record. People seem so quick to bash on Boise State, saying that they aren't really all that great, just lucky. Now with this loss there isn't much they can say, they got what they wanted, BSU lost, now what? Maybe the loss was for the best. I mean, every team has a chance of losing, perhaps it's unfair calls by the officials or just an off night. No matter what it is, Boise State will still do well in the games to come and they will probably get invited to play a bowl game against Ohio, which would be a good game really. Yeah, this loss dashed all hopes of that BCS Bowl game we all were wanting, but I think Boise State will still get the last laugh.
Referenced:
Boise State Broncos Blues: Team Misses Out on Opportunity for BCS Bowl Game
How Did Boise State Turn into the Most Hated Team in America?
As you can tell, I really like Boise State, haha. I get pretty into the games if they are decently interesting, which isn't very usual since the Broncos kind of steam roll over everyone they play. This game was very intense, and I was pretty upset when it ended, let me tell ya.
Being an avid Bronco fan, I thought about how biased I might be towards my team in that game against the Reno Wolf Pack. Perhaps the Broncos simply didn't play that well this night, but as I look back over their previous games and the scores and the stats behind those scores, I begin to wonder if I really am all that misplaced in my support. Maybe BSU is just really that great of a team. So far, thinking back, I have never been happy with the Boise defense, and I have never thought of Brotzman (the kicker who missed the two would've-been winning field goals) as being an incredible player. However, I have never seen the offensive blocks let so many players through to Kellen Moore (the quarterback, for those of you who don't live on Earth or just don't watch football haha); he's never been sacked so much in this entire season.
I concluded that, as much as all these people try to say that Boise State is such a stupid team or overrated or just lucky (which is a load of crap) or whatever, I think that BSU legitimately is an excellent team. They won 24 games straight before that game, if I recall correctly. And I'm pretty sure there aren't too many college teams out there with that kind of a record. People seem so quick to bash on Boise State, saying that they aren't really all that great, just lucky. Now with this loss there isn't much they can say, they got what they wanted, BSU lost, now what? Maybe the loss was for the best. I mean, every team has a chance of losing, perhaps it's unfair calls by the officials or just an off night. No matter what it is, Boise State will still do well in the games to come and they will probably get invited to play a bowl game against Ohio, which would be a good game really. Yeah, this loss dashed all hopes of that BCS Bowl game we all were wanting, but I think Boise State will still get the last laugh.
Referenced:
Boise State Broncos Blues: Team Misses Out on Opportunity for BCS Bowl Game
How Did Boise State Turn into the Most Hated Team in America?
November 24, 2010
Quote of the Day - REAL Girlfriends
"A real girlfriend won't tell her boyfriend to throw out his XBox 360, she'll be sitting next to him learning how to play it."
-Unknown-
Reno, Nevada
I recently traveled to visit some special people in Reno, and I discovered a couple things while there. First of all, it's cold, haha, well, it's colder than my Idaho home anyway. Second, 1 hour plane rides are the fastest ways to pass time. I am so used to plane rides lasting at least 5 and a half hours that I thought the time passed extremely quickly. On top of that, I found a friend to talk to the whole ride there so the time just sailed by!
It is interesting how you can meet the most random people when you travel. The guy I happened to get quite well-acquainted with was named Steve. I learned a lot about him in that hour and some odd minutes of hanging out while boarding and riding the plane. I won't share much about him here for privacy's sake, but I really enjoyed talking to someone who was so much like myself :) It was actually pretty incredible how much we were alike, as far as personality goes. Granted we had some opposing views (though they were incredibly rare and spaced), and he was the one to do most of the talking, but it was interesting to get a older perspective of life from my personality's point of view.
I was most interested to find that out that a lot of the opinions I hold about things like love and relationships or just life in general were actually pretty dead on as far as reality goes. Even my opinions about Facebook were supported by this guy. I was pretty surprised by that actually, but not as surprised as I could have been. Of course, this is just one guy in a world of guys and ladies who probably hold a different opinion than the two of us, but I'll take it with a grain of salt and let the newfound knowledge fester until it finds a few more sources to back it all up.
In the meantime, I did make a new friend. Whether or not I'll ever come in contact with the guy again is beyond me, but if God so chooses to allow our paths to cross once again, I think it would be pretty cool.
There's one last thing I'd like to share before I sign off for now. I discovered that I like Call of Duty Black Ops, despite the fact that I fail at it completely, haha. Granted, I liked watching friends play, and it was always funny to watch them assassinate each other in epic fashions lol, but I had never actually played the game. I knew I'd like it, but I also knew that I'd fail at it, haha. Perhaps, with a LOT of practice, I will one day beat the guys ;) but until then, it oughta be fun :)
It is interesting how you can meet the most random people when you travel. The guy I happened to get quite well-acquainted with was named Steve. I learned a lot about him in that hour and some odd minutes of hanging out while boarding and riding the plane. I won't share much about him here for privacy's sake, but I really enjoyed talking to someone who was so much like myself :) It was actually pretty incredible how much we were alike, as far as personality goes. Granted we had some opposing views (though they were incredibly rare and spaced), and he was the one to do most of the talking, but it was interesting to get a older perspective of life from my personality's point of view.
I was most interested to find that out that a lot of the opinions I hold about things like love and relationships or just life in general were actually pretty dead on as far as reality goes. Even my opinions about Facebook were supported by this guy. I was pretty surprised by that actually, but not as surprised as I could have been. Of course, this is just one guy in a world of guys and ladies who probably hold a different opinion than the two of us, but I'll take it with a grain of salt and let the newfound knowledge fester until it finds a few more sources to back it all up.
In the meantime, I did make a new friend. Whether or not I'll ever come in contact with the guy again is beyond me, but if God so chooses to allow our paths to cross once again, I think it would be pretty cool.
There's one last thing I'd like to share before I sign off for now. I discovered that I like Call of Duty Black Ops, despite the fact that I fail at it completely, haha. Granted, I liked watching friends play, and it was always funny to watch them assassinate each other in epic fashions lol, but I had never actually played the game. I knew I'd like it, but I also knew that I'd fail at it, haha. Perhaps, with a LOT of practice, I will one day beat the guys ;) but until then, it oughta be fun :)
November 9, 2010
Stop forgeting to remember!!
I have one of the worst memories that I know of. Really, it's ridiculous. I honestly don't know how people can stand to talk to me lol. I remind myself of Dory off of Finding Nemo (such a classic :). I can literally forget something in a matter of seconds.
I have tried to write things down so that I remember them or remember to do something, but that doesn't always work because I either lose the paper that I wrote it down on or I forget why I wrote a random word on a piece of paper that is in my pocket, and by time I do remember why I wrote it, it's pretty much too late anyway.
So, I am embarking on a quest to remember things. I'm not going to depend on myself to remember these things because that would cause a plethora of issues. However, I will be finding different ways to keep things straight. For one, I always have a pen on me so I will write things on me because I always have me with me, haha. I will also be putting events and information in my phone whenever I need to remember something. I figure having everything in one place would be an excellent idea, despite the fact that if I lose my phone (which is actually very unlikely) or it is stolen, I am completely screwed...
Day planners don't work for me. I have tried those, and every time I try I feel the need to rebel against what is written in the pages and do my own thing. And I've already mentioned the random notes to myself problems.
So far, the phone idea has worked pretty well. I'll be praying for someone to invent memory chips for the brain, haha, but in the meantime, I think a palm planner might be a good investment :)
I have tried to write things down so that I remember them or remember to do something, but that doesn't always work because I either lose the paper that I wrote it down on or I forget why I wrote a random word on a piece of paper that is in my pocket, and by time I do remember why I wrote it, it's pretty much too late anyway.
So, I am embarking on a quest to remember things. I'm not going to depend on myself to remember these things because that would cause a plethora of issues. However, I will be finding different ways to keep things straight. For one, I always have a pen on me so I will write things on me because I always have me with me, haha. I will also be putting events and information in my phone whenever I need to remember something. I figure having everything in one place would be an excellent idea, despite the fact that if I lose my phone (which is actually very unlikely) or it is stolen, I am completely screwed...
Day planners don't work for me. I have tried those, and every time I try I feel the need to rebel against what is written in the pages and do my own thing. And I've already mentioned the random notes to myself problems.
So far, the phone idea has worked pretty well. I'll be praying for someone to invent memory chips for the brain, haha, but in the meantime, I think a palm planner might be a good investment :)
November 4, 2010
Chick-Fil-A
I haven't had a meal at Chick-Fil-A in at least 12 years. And I am very excited because one just opened on my college campus this morning!! I was there to see the grand opening, and it was pretty cool :P
I am hoping to be able to get some for lunch this afternoon, but I don't know how bad the lines will be, haha. Either way, it's there now, and I highly doubt it will be leaving any time soon ;) Well, that's about it, haha, I just wanted to say I was pretty freaking excited, haha.
I am hoping to be able to get some for lunch this afternoon, but I don't know how bad the lines will be, haha. Either way, it's there now, and I highly doubt it will be leaving any time soon ;) Well, that's about it, haha, I just wanted to say I was pretty freaking excited, haha.
November 2, 2010
The Funny Things in Life Make Me Laugh
I was told today to go to Google maps and get directions from Japan to China, and I have to say, I am sooooo glad I did, haha. It totally made my day!
So, I want you guys to do the same, believe me, it's very worth it, haha.
1) Go to www.google.com.
2) Click on Maps.
3) Click on Get Directions.
4) Type in Japan for the starting point (A) and type in China for the Destination (B).
5) Click the Get Directions button.
6) Scroll down to number 43.
Good luck on your trip! ;)
So, I want you guys to do the same, believe me, it's very worth it, haha.
1) Go to www.google.com.
2) Click on Maps.
3) Click on Get Directions.
4) Type in Japan for the starting point (A) and type in China for the Destination (B).
5) Click the Get Directions button.
6) Scroll down to number 43.
Good luck on your trip! ;)
October 21, 2010
Quote of the Day - The Big Picture
"Focusing on the poor and ignoring the system of power, priviledge, and profit which makes them poor is a little like blaming the corpse for murder."
-Michael Parenti-
October 20, 2010
Quote of the Day - Loss
'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.' When something is taken from your grasp, you are not being punished, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
- an email from a friend of the family-
October 19, 2010
Yin and Yang
Ancients believed that there was a little good in everything that is bad and a little bad in everything that is good. It is an intriguing concept that's for sure, though I do have my own thoughts about such things.
I had an interesting weekend. And that would be a slight understatement. I got to see some family, who I haven't seen in years. One of my favorite people in the whole wide world came to visit me :) And we had an awesome BBQ for a football game and to celebrate some birthdays, which was sooo much fun, especially because there was crab legs.... so delicious ^^
Then, after an amazing high, the weekend dropped to an all-time low, or perhaps it felt that way because we had been so high on happiness that the low seemed much lower, but either way, it was pretty shocking. My uncle's dog was hit and killed by a car; I loved that dog like no other, lemme tell ya, but the reality of it all really hasn't sunk in yet I think because I really haven't been too sad about it yet... I trained him, and he always greeted me like no other. He was one heck of a huge dog - maverick is about one of the only words that truly describes how big he was. I miss him, but I'll really get the full wave of emotion when I visit my uncle and aunt's place and feel the absence of his vibrant self.
The other low was when my special visitor had to return home. He's very much missed, but fortunately I'll get to see him again soon :) Thank God for airplanes, haha.
I think that perhaps bad things happen in life so that we don't get too comfortable with who we are because often times, we aren't exactly as great as we'd like to think we are. I know this very personally; I find that every time I get hurt or am down, the little things mean so much to me, and I want to pass those little things on to other people around me, whether I know them or not. Maybe that's just me, haha, but hopefully not.
I had an interesting weekend. And that would be a slight understatement. I got to see some family, who I haven't seen in years. One of my favorite people in the whole wide world came to visit me :) And we had an awesome BBQ for a football game and to celebrate some birthdays, which was sooo much fun, especially because there was crab legs.... so delicious ^^
Then, after an amazing high, the weekend dropped to an all-time low, or perhaps it felt that way because we had been so high on happiness that the low seemed much lower, but either way, it was pretty shocking. My uncle's dog was hit and killed by a car; I loved that dog like no other, lemme tell ya, but the reality of it all really hasn't sunk in yet I think because I really haven't been too sad about it yet... I trained him, and he always greeted me like no other. He was one heck of a huge dog - maverick is about one of the only words that truly describes how big he was. I miss him, but I'll really get the full wave of emotion when I visit my uncle and aunt's place and feel the absence of his vibrant self.
The other low was when my special visitor had to return home. He's very much missed, but fortunately I'll get to see him again soon :) Thank God for airplanes, haha.
I think that perhaps bad things happen in life so that we don't get too comfortable with who we are because often times, we aren't exactly as great as we'd like to think we are. I know this very personally; I find that every time I get hurt or am down, the little things mean so much to me, and I want to pass those little things on to other people around me, whether I know them or not. Maybe that's just me, haha, but hopefully not.
October 15, 2010
Quote of the Day - Games
"Not everything is a matter of winning or losing... just being in the game can be greatly rewarding."
-Tia Alsleben-
In the Final Hours
I find it strangely calming at this moment to look toward the future with my thoughts on the past, seeing all I have been through and all that I want to achieve, in one place, in one mindset... peace.
I have been sitting here reflecting on what has been and what I have been through in my short lifetime, and I was looking back wondering just how much I have changed through the years. I remember myself as an energetic child with a longing for fun and adventure all the time. I could never fall asleep fast, and I never wanted to be left out of anything that I saw as suggesting a good time. :) As I started to get older and enter the late "kid" years and started to get into tween city, I remember realizing how horribly I dressed, haha. I actually made sure that I matched my clothes from then on, and I began to discover my love for the understanding of people, though I didn't know that yet.
From my tween years and my first taste of puppy love, I was jolted out of my "perfect" life into a life with a single parent, a lonely life with no friends (being home-schooled for a while really didn't get me many friends), and a much-needed new beginning. I learned the most about myself in the quiet hours when life settled into a slow routine, when I didn't understand quite why life had changed so much. I wasn't unhappy, just wondered, what now?
Public school changed me the most. My friends became my life :) I love those guys more than life itself. I was uplifted, brought down to size, learned to love, learned how to be a teenager (haha yeah pretty sad), and I found life to be so sweet, especially when I learned just how much helping others made me happy. Yeah, I went through some rocky times, but I also had some of the best days of my life there... all in all, my life has been all that I ever could have wanted it to be, and more. God has really blessed me. I just hope that I can take those blessings (and love) and share them with all the people I meet and all the lives I touch.
I just want to say thanx to all of those people who have touched my life in some way or another and have left their fingerprints in the person that I have become today. You guys are incredible, and I could never ask for a better circle of family and friends to accompany me through all of my life's little wanderings. Love you guys!!
I have been sitting here reflecting on what has been and what I have been through in my short lifetime, and I was looking back wondering just how much I have changed through the years. I remember myself as an energetic child with a longing for fun and adventure all the time. I could never fall asleep fast, and I never wanted to be left out of anything that I saw as suggesting a good time. :) As I started to get older and enter the late "kid" years and started to get into tween city, I remember realizing how horribly I dressed, haha. I actually made sure that I matched my clothes from then on, and I began to discover my love for the understanding of people, though I didn't know that yet.
From my tween years and my first taste of puppy love, I was jolted out of my "perfect" life into a life with a single parent, a lonely life with no friends (being home-schooled for a while really didn't get me many friends), and a much-needed new beginning. I learned the most about myself in the quiet hours when life settled into a slow routine, when I didn't understand quite why life had changed so much. I wasn't unhappy, just wondered, what now?
Public school changed me the most. My friends became my life :) I love those guys more than life itself. I was uplifted, brought down to size, learned to love, learned how to be a teenager (haha yeah pretty sad), and I found life to be so sweet, especially when I learned just how much helping others made me happy. Yeah, I went through some rocky times, but I also had some of the best days of my life there... all in all, my life has been all that I ever could have wanted it to be, and more. God has really blessed me. I just hope that I can take those blessings (and love) and share them with all the people I meet and all the lives I touch.
I just want to say thanx to all of those people who have touched my life in some way or another and have left their fingerprints in the person that I have become today. You guys are incredible, and I could never ask for a better circle of family and friends to accompany me through all of my life's little wanderings. Love you guys!!
October 13, 2010
Quote of the Day - Hmm...
"It is better to suffer wrong than do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust."
-Unknown-
October 12, 2010
Quote of the Day - Celery
"How do you smell celery?"
"You've never smelled celery?"
"No- wait I smell it, I wasn't breathing."
-Conversation between me and my best friend Ashley-
"You've really never smelled celery?"
"No, haha, it's not like I sniff it!"
*Bouts of laughter*
-The continuation of our conversation
since it was interrupted by a lot of laughter
and her juice almost coming out of
her nose-
October 10, 2010
Quote of the Day - Happiness
"Happiness isn't about getting what you want all the time, it's about loving what you have"
-Unknown-
October 7, 2010
Abusive Consumers
We as Americans are consumers. We buy huge trucks that have the ability to haul really big boats and crap, yet what do we do with them? We park them in mall parking lots...
A fellow classmate of mine said something very close to this in my English class yesterday. I thought it was soooo funny, yet it was so true. Americans do tend to waste a lot, whether it be food, water, heat, clothing, gas, paper, or whatever. The guy was right; Americans ARE consumers. It's almost sad how much we eat, how much we don't eat, and how much we don't see how much both of those things are hurting us as a nation, and how it is hurting other countries as well.
1 out of 3 American adults are considered obese in America, and that was the statistic in July 2008 (Scott). 2 out of 3 Americans over the age of 20 are considered to be overweight (Scott). And the more Americans get, the more we seem to want. Americans are far more likely to become obese than Europeans, and therefore, we also are more likely to have heart diseases, diabetes, and cancer. We are eating ourselves to death and wasting the rest.
We all seem to wonder why people can't just cut back and get into shape, but each of us feed into the problem in various ways, I think. We all have those things that we splurge on, from candy, to gas, to cell phone coverage, to maybe even groceries or clothes. Granted, there are those so-called "hippies" who grow their own food, buy only the clothes they need, kill their own cows and chickens, etc., and these people are definitely working in the right direction, but I don't see too many of us wanting to cut back even somewhat close to what they are doing. I am guilty of this myself; I don't want to give up my potato chips or soda or the occasional piece of candy. All of these are extras to a healthy diet, and I could easily give them up and survive just as well, and I'd be a healthier individual at that! I also don't see myself having the time to grow a garden or have the heart to kill an animal I fed and took care of to eat.
So what can be done? There are many things that can be done to thin Americans out and reduce the waste that occurs in this country. It all really starts at home. Personally, I can only cook and/or take what I will eat; I can recycle cans and bottles; I can make sure that, whenever I am not using some sort of electric device, I can either turn it off or make it so it is using less energy; I can order less at restaurants and take all the leftovers home with me for later; etc. I guess the major thing that I have realized both today and yesterday is that I do consume a lot, and I really want to make an effort to reduce the statistics America holds as a nation.
Sources
Scott, Jennifer R. "How Prevalent is Being Overweight in America?" 30 July 2008. About.com. 7 Oct 2010.
A fellow classmate of mine said something very close to this in my English class yesterday. I thought it was soooo funny, yet it was so true. Americans do tend to waste a lot, whether it be food, water, heat, clothing, gas, paper, or whatever. The guy was right; Americans ARE consumers. It's almost sad how much we eat, how much we don't eat, and how much we don't see how much both of those things are hurting us as a nation, and how it is hurting other countries as well.
1 out of 3 American adults are considered obese in America, and that was the statistic in July 2008 (Scott). 2 out of 3 Americans over the age of 20 are considered to be overweight (Scott). And the more Americans get, the more we seem to want. Americans are far more likely to become obese than Europeans, and therefore, we also are more likely to have heart diseases, diabetes, and cancer. We are eating ourselves to death and wasting the rest.
We all seem to wonder why people can't just cut back and get into shape, but each of us feed into the problem in various ways, I think. We all have those things that we splurge on, from candy, to gas, to cell phone coverage, to maybe even groceries or clothes. Granted, there are those so-called "hippies" who grow their own food, buy only the clothes they need, kill their own cows and chickens, etc., and these people are definitely working in the right direction, but I don't see too many of us wanting to cut back even somewhat close to what they are doing. I am guilty of this myself; I don't want to give up my potato chips or soda or the occasional piece of candy. All of these are extras to a healthy diet, and I could easily give them up and survive just as well, and I'd be a healthier individual at that! I also don't see myself having the time to grow a garden or have the heart to kill an animal I fed and took care of to eat.
So what can be done? There are many things that can be done to thin Americans out and reduce the waste that occurs in this country. It all really starts at home. Personally, I can only cook and/or take what I will eat; I can recycle cans and bottles; I can make sure that, whenever I am not using some sort of electric device, I can either turn it off or make it so it is using less energy; I can order less at restaurants and take all the leftovers home with me for later; etc. I guess the major thing that I have realized both today and yesterday is that I do consume a lot, and I really want to make an effort to reduce the statistics America holds as a nation.
Sources
Scott, Jennifer R. "How Prevalent is Being Overweight in America?" 30 July 2008. About.com. 7 Oct 2010.
October 5, 2010
Push it to the limits
I learned over the past weekend an important lesson. Everyone has a point at which they will not, I repeat NOT, budge past. Lately, I have dealt with a lot of pressure coming from many sides in my life, relationships with family and friends and just college in general. I thought that I was basically a pushover, that I'd slide with anything and just roll with any punches life - or people - threw at me. I guess it took a whole bunch of things falling on me at once for me to reach that point where I said no, I can't carry all of this anymore - it's too much.
I put my foot down to a lot of people, and I realized that I can say no to certain people, and it's fine; it's really not as complicated as I was making it out to be. I had an awesome conversation with my aunt and uncle last night, and I realized just how much certain things in my life mean to me, and that I should defend those things with all of my heart. It saddens me how, over time, our values and ideals can deteriorate, and we can fall away from the things we've always wanted because the going either gets too tough or we feel that it's no longer important, even though we know deep down that we still desire it intensely.
It is important to stay true to who we are, no matter who comes around and tries to make us to otherwise. They may never know just how important something is to us unless we show it, and not showing it would be basically lying to ourselves and them, saying it's okay when really it's not.
I put my foot down to a lot of people, and I realized that I can say no to certain people, and it's fine; it's really not as complicated as I was making it out to be. I had an awesome conversation with my aunt and uncle last night, and I realized just how much certain things in my life mean to me, and that I should defend those things with all of my heart. It saddens me how, over time, our values and ideals can deteriorate, and we can fall away from the things we've always wanted because the going either gets too tough or we feel that it's no longer important, even though we know deep down that we still desire it intensely.
It is important to stay true to who we are, no matter who comes around and tries to make us to otherwise. They may never know just how important something is to us unless we show it, and not showing it would be basically lying to ourselves and them, saying it's okay when really it's not.
October 3, 2010
Birthday 18
I decided that being a minor in college is both good and bad. It is good because you are ahead of most other people there, and people see you as a "smart" person sometimes, which is cool but also annoying since people also try to get homework answers from you and whatnot.
For me, it really bites because of the current situation I am in; having divorced parents who don't really get along and who both want to do stuff for you (but one or the other will get jealous or upset that the other one is doing this stuff for me because they are suspicious of the other's intentions or whatever) really makes life difficult and highly complicated. I love both of my parents, don't get me wrong, but the situation could be a lot better than it is.
In my case, being a minor doesn't make life very easy because I can be controlled and manipulated a lot easier. I look forward to my approaching birthday with high hopes and dreams of freedom to live my own life with no one holding things over my head or using me to get back at the other or using me to find out information or whatever else could be going on.
This whole situation made me think of all the other kids and adults out there who are going through or have gone through their parents getting a divorce. Whether the divorce was civil or not, it seems that most times the kids internalize a lot of the stuff they feel, and they try to pretend that everything is fine, and that they are completely normal. While there is no real definition of "normal", I find it sad that the normal is becoming divorced and divided families; step-families are becoming more and more common, and more and more kids are getting in trouble because their families are being torn apart, and no one is really helping the kids get through it as much as they should.
I'm sure there are a lot more stories of broken families that are far worse than mine. I guess I have a lot to be thankful for, but either way, I still can not wait for the freedom that will come with birthday 18.
For me, it really bites because of the current situation I am in; having divorced parents who don't really get along and who both want to do stuff for you (but one or the other will get jealous or upset that the other one is doing this stuff for me because they are suspicious of the other's intentions or whatever) really makes life difficult and highly complicated. I love both of my parents, don't get me wrong, but the situation could be a lot better than it is.
In my case, being a minor doesn't make life very easy because I can be controlled and manipulated a lot easier. I look forward to my approaching birthday with high hopes and dreams of freedom to live my own life with no one holding things over my head or using me to get back at the other or using me to find out information or whatever else could be going on.
This whole situation made me think of all the other kids and adults out there who are going through or have gone through their parents getting a divorce. Whether the divorce was civil or not, it seems that most times the kids internalize a lot of the stuff they feel, and they try to pretend that everything is fine, and that they are completely normal. While there is no real definition of "normal", I find it sad that the normal is becoming divorced and divided families; step-families are becoming more and more common, and more and more kids are getting in trouble because their families are being torn apart, and no one is really helping the kids get through it as much as they should.
I'm sure there are a lot more stories of broken families that are far worse than mine. I guess I have a lot to be thankful for, but either way, I still can not wait for the freedom that will come with birthday 18.
October 2, 2010
Quote of the Day - James Dean
"Dream as if you'll live forever
Live as if you'll die today"
-James Dean-
October 1, 2010
September 30, 2010
1's and 0's
I was helping my mom with some of her studying for a computer class she is taking, and one of the things she was required to understand was another language of sorts called Binary Coding (not necessarily capitalized haha but it adds emphasis). This is the coding that consists of solely 1's and 0's that you see in computers and other similar types of technology in movies. You see a character enter a code constituting some sort of command or a password in a computer and a whole slew of seemingly random 1's and 0's run through the screen. These numbers are actually convertible into words, symbols, other numbers, and a whole bunch of other crazy stuff.
My mom had me look through her notes to see if I knew any of the stuff she was studying so perhaps I could help her out, but since this is a 300's class, I knew very little though I recognized a bunch of the terminology and whatnot from experiences I've had with various computers and software. The one thing that caught my eye in her notes was this concept of binary coding. I had heard of the language of the computers before, but I had never understood how to convert from normal language to the code or vice versa.
I proceeded to do some research online, and I quickly learned how to use this code, albeit with an aide which I found on the following site:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
The whole conversion process involves nothing but multiplying and dividing by 2 and keeping track of remainders. Which is pretty simple to pretty much anyone in or past the 4th grade. I tried to explain this process to my mom, but she didn't take to the idea as quickly as I though she would... Like me she thinks far too much into things and makes it waaaaaay more complicated than it should be, haha. My friend sitting there and listening in got it right away though, so maybe I'm not all that bad of a teacher :)
It was definitely cool to learn :)
Awesome = 100 0001 111 0111 110 0101 111 0011 110 1111 110 1101 110 0101
My mom had me look through her notes to see if I knew any of the stuff she was studying so perhaps I could help her out, but since this is a 300's class, I knew very little though I recognized a bunch of the terminology and whatnot from experiences I've had with various computers and software. The one thing that caught my eye in her notes was this concept of binary coding. I had heard of the language of the computers before, but I had never understood how to convert from normal language to the code or vice versa.
I proceeded to do some research online, and I quickly learned how to use this code, albeit with an aide which I found on the following site:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
The whole conversion process involves nothing but multiplying and dividing by 2 and keeping track of remainders. Which is pretty simple to pretty much anyone in or past the 4th grade. I tried to explain this process to my mom, but she didn't take to the idea as quickly as I though she would... Like me she thinks far too much into things and makes it waaaaaay more complicated than it should be, haha. My friend sitting there and listening in got it right away though, so maybe I'm not all that bad of a teacher :)
It was definitely cool to learn :)
Awesome = 100 0001 111 0111 110 0101 111 0011 110 1111 110 1101 110 0101
September 29, 2010
Bringing things down to size
It is interesting to me that whenever I am brought down to size (excuse the pun, for those of you who know me, haha), I am a lot more understanding and kind to those I come in contact with.
For the last couple of days, I have had some sort of sickness, which caused me to cough and sneeze, and my nose was running and plugged at the same time (which is highly irritating during class, especially when you're trying to take notes...). Day two added a fever with chills, loss of pain tolerance (which is really bad if you have a high pain tolerance to begin with), and an almost continual headache. These combined symptoms and my refusal to take medication, just made it an amazing day. However, I did make sure to get a lot more sleep than I normally do, so today (day 3) has been a lot more tolerable.
Anyway, I felt more compelled to go random small acts of kindness today than I have in a long time. I was in the bathroom and noticed that a young woman was blowing her nose with the toilet paper, which as I well knew by this point, rubbed your nose raw. I finished drying my hands, reached into my backpack, and offered her a couple of tissues, saying I knew that the toilet paper killed when you use it on your nose. She smiled and thanked me heartily. Hopefully she gets better soon; I know how tough it can be to be sick and have to go to school with no tissues... It may sound petty, but the little things can be huge factors in how a day turns out when you're sick.
Perhaps, it's these vulnerable times in life that show us just how human we are.
For the last couple of days, I have had some sort of sickness, which caused me to cough and sneeze, and my nose was running and plugged at the same time (which is highly irritating during class, especially when you're trying to take notes...). Day two added a fever with chills, loss of pain tolerance (which is really bad if you have a high pain tolerance to begin with), and an almost continual headache. These combined symptoms and my refusal to take medication, just made it an amazing day. However, I did make sure to get a lot more sleep than I normally do, so today (day 3) has been a lot more tolerable.
Anyway, I felt more compelled to go random small acts of kindness today than I have in a long time. I was in the bathroom and noticed that a young woman was blowing her nose with the toilet paper, which as I well knew by this point, rubbed your nose raw. I finished drying my hands, reached into my backpack, and offered her a couple of tissues, saying I knew that the toilet paper killed when you use it on your nose. She smiled and thanked me heartily. Hopefully she gets better soon; I know how tough it can be to be sick and have to go to school with no tissues... It may sound petty, but the little things can be huge factors in how a day turns out when you're sick.
Perhaps, it's these vulnerable times in life that show us just how human we are.
Background Music
Today, I was walking on campus on my way to meet someone, and I passed a guy playing his guitar and singing. He really wasn't all that bad; he had a decent disposition and voice, and his playing complimented his singing. I thought about saying something kind or encouraging to him, but I really couldn't think of anything to say at that moment. Although I didn't say anything, I did feel grateful for the musical addition to my day; there's something about music that speaks to people, and that is why I wish that life would have more background music, haha. It would make the day so much more interesting! Just think, at an epic moment in your life when you witness something awesome, wouldn't a score of music like those in movies make that moment all the more epic? However, if you were having a downer moment, where your in a fight, would music really make that time more enjoyable? Or would it make the moment more deeply depressing/angering?
Either way, I'd like more background music in my life, so I have decided to try a day with my iPod and earbuds going all day to accent the epic and crazy moments of my life. This oughta be interesting ;)
(Yes, I realize that the elevator music is background music, but if you're like me and take the stairs and only take the elevator when I absolutely have to, you won't be hearing it.)
Either way, I'd like more background music in my life, so I have decided to try a day with my iPod and earbuds going all day to accent the epic and crazy moments of my life. This oughta be interesting ;)
(Yes, I realize that the elevator music is background music, but if you're like me and take the stairs and only take the elevator when I absolutely have to, you won't be hearing it.)
September 24, 2010
100!
I just wanted to throw a line out to my mini audience of readers and say thanks for reading! This is my 100th post for 2010, and I really appreciate the feedback I get from you guys, no matter what form it comes in :)
I definitely wouldn't have written about as much stuff as I have if I didn't have you guys to read it!
Thanks!! You guys are awesome! :D
I definitely wouldn't have written about as much stuff as I have if I didn't have you guys to read it!
Thanks!! You guys are awesome! :D
Quote of the Day - Just a little backwards there...
"Okay, I have to let you go. I have to go wake up my mom, get her all loaded up and off to school... Wow, that sounded really backwards didn't it? Hahahaha!!!"
-Tia Alsleben-
September 23, 2010
Lacking Inspiration
So.... as you may or may not have noticed, I haven't had anything extremely cool or interesting to say lately, haha. I haven't really seen much to write about lately. I'm sure there is a lot out there to see and make some sort of connection to, but I just haven't seen them.
The only thing that has stood out to me lately is a picture I actually attempted to sketch. I thought it was so majestic. I'm sure it's copyrighted by the photographer, so I take no credit for the photo.
The second one I take full credit for! :) It's not the best sketch, but I had fun drawing it.
The only thing that has stood out to me lately is a picture I actually attempted to sketch. I thought it was so majestic. I'm sure it's copyrighted by the photographer, so I take no credit for the photo.
And the following picture is my version of it... It's not the best copy of it, I'll admit.
The second one I take full credit for! :) It's not the best sketch, but I had fun drawing it.
September 22, 2010
Random Word of the Moment - Imago
1. An idealized concept of a loved one, formed in childhood and retained unaltered in adult life.
2. Entomology . An adult insect.
September 21, 2010
Quote of the Day - Audrey Hepburn
"For beautiful eyes, look only for the good in others;
For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness;
For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness;
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."
-Audrey Hepburn-
September 20, 2010
Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling down and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
-Unknown-
Happy days are here again :)
It's amazing how much one person can make a day so much better. :)
It's also amazing how a crappy week can make a Monday seem like heaven, haha.
It's also amazing how a crappy week can make a Monday seem like heaven, haha.
September 19, 2010
Quote of the Day - Danger
"Forget the warnings and plunge into the disaster."
-Tia Alsleben-
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and I was describing my personal approach to life. I often find myself liking to learn the hard way, and this phrase is my version of saying something in a poetic way, haha. I find it is easier to remember the lessons learned from disasters than I do when someone tells me not to do something. It's a dangerous way to go, but it's the way I tend to learn, sadly enough. Sometimes, though definitely not always, "it is better to ask forgiveness than permission" (Eragon).
September 18, 2010
So, it just occurred to me that time can make things funny AND not funny. Let me explain...
Sometimes things are funny when they happen, right? Yet other things are only funny days, months or years later... Don't you think that's weird that time not only alters our perception of things but also changes the way they tickle us... Hmmm, Just a little food for thought. :)
Sometimes things are funny when they happen, right? Yet other things are only funny days, months or years later... Don't you think that's weird that time not only alters our perception of things but also changes the way they tickle us... Hmmm, Just a little food for thought. :)
-Brian Harada-
September 17, 2010
Anger
If there's one thing I've learned in life about anger, it's that I always have to stop right then and back off before I do or say something stupid. When I was younger, I immediately let it all out, all the thoughts that sprang to my mind gushed out and stabbed those within hearing distance. Granted, I was never a violent child, haha, but I did have a knack for knowing just what to say to cut you down speechless.
These days, I just shut up. I stop talking and often just stop thinking for at least ten seconds. Then, I allow myself to think, but I always do my best to just not say any more at that point. If someone can get me to say something when I'm here, it's either because I see my mistake and am repentant, or they just hit a raw nerve within me, and I couldn't just keep my mouth shut. I find that silence is often more powerful than yelling, screaming, or just saying things that aren't kind. People really listen when you stop talking or responding, for the most part that is. If they have nothing to argue with, often either side will lose ground, and you both have the chance to think before you say things.
Someone close to me hit a raw nerve of mine today. I felt that instead of saying all the stuff that immediately pulsed through my head, I should take a break from all of it and get my thoughts together first. The first reaction I always have is defense, deflecting any and all blame possible. Perhaps this is human nature, but I see it as something I learned from arguing with particular people all my life. If I could keep the blame off of my shoulders, I could get away with anything and everything. Obviously, this isn't the way to go; it's wrong to always blame others and run from what you had coming. Besides being a coward, it's just not taking the punches for what you did wrong, in my eyes.
My biggest way of evaluating my anger, irritation, or just an upset is writing. If there is something I really need to work out, but I just really can't see past my own sense of self-righteousness, I write. Whether it be on my blog, in my personal journal, or in some other place I love to just sit and let it all out onto the pages.
After writing all of this, I think that my nerve doesn't feel as violated, haha. In this particular instance, I believe I was truly at fault. Perhaps, my friend did do something to cause it, but all the same, it was my reaction that really should be my concern.
Well, I'm gonna go work this out. Deep breaths, sigh, calm thoughts... :)
These days, I just shut up. I stop talking and often just stop thinking for at least ten seconds. Then, I allow myself to think, but I always do my best to just not say any more at that point. If someone can get me to say something when I'm here, it's either because I see my mistake and am repentant, or they just hit a raw nerve within me, and I couldn't just keep my mouth shut. I find that silence is often more powerful than yelling, screaming, or just saying things that aren't kind. People really listen when you stop talking or responding, for the most part that is. If they have nothing to argue with, often either side will lose ground, and you both have the chance to think before you say things.
Someone close to me hit a raw nerve of mine today. I felt that instead of saying all the stuff that immediately pulsed through my head, I should take a break from all of it and get my thoughts together first. The first reaction I always have is defense, deflecting any and all blame possible. Perhaps this is human nature, but I see it as something I learned from arguing with particular people all my life. If I could keep the blame off of my shoulders, I could get away with anything and everything. Obviously, this isn't the way to go; it's wrong to always blame others and run from what you had coming. Besides being a coward, it's just not taking the punches for what you did wrong, in my eyes.
My biggest way of evaluating my anger, irritation, or just an upset is writing. If there is something I really need to work out, but I just really can't see past my own sense of self-righteousness, I write. Whether it be on my blog, in my personal journal, or in some other place I love to just sit and let it all out onto the pages.
After writing all of this, I think that my nerve doesn't feel as violated, haha. In this particular instance, I believe I was truly at fault. Perhaps, my friend did do something to cause it, but all the same, it was my reaction that really should be my concern.
Well, I'm gonna go work this out. Deep breaths, sigh, calm thoughts... :)
Quotes of the Day - It's Fred!!
"I know the one in the underwear!"
-Tia Alsleben-
"Constition Trivia"
-People who can't spell-
September 16, 2010
Backwards...sdrawkcaB
Oh snap, that title is legit, haha.
Aaaanyway, I was having an okay day today; for some reason I was a bit more sensitive than usual... Probably because of the bumper cars incident, haha. Then, my day kinda went good, I had some amazing tamales and an enchilada at a really good Mexican restaurant (food can heal the soul, ya know). By this time I was rockin' in life; things seemed to be looking up.
Then, reality.... a certain event occurred, which I will not describe, (but it's not cool, just so you know) and I thought for sure that I would be upset and angry and that I would just lose it at last. However, the strangest thing happened. I started laughing...
The moment I was out of there and driving home, I was alone in the car, with the radio on and the windows down, and I was laughing out loud. It was euphoric - the best of laughter - the kind where you smile and you just can't stop; you laugh, and it feels like it's coming from your heart rather than your stomach; and you can feel your very eyes smiling even when you aren't physically smiling.
I was so blown away by the experience; it was so random. And to make it even more interesting, I found it funny that I was laughing right after that event, which should of had me down again. So I laughed some more, while I sang to the radio - all the way home - all 45 minutes of it.
I gotta tell ya, maybe I did lose it today, finally, but I can't think of a better and more satisfying way to "lose it" in all of eternity. Perhaps, my friends, you think that, at last, I am going crazy; that's alright. Either way, I think my sun is finally setting on the bad days and rising on a fresh, new and glorious day, despite the odd means of it making it to the horizon. :)
Aaaanyway, I was having an okay day today; for some reason I was a bit more sensitive than usual... Probably because of the bumper cars incident, haha. Then, my day kinda went good, I had some amazing tamales and an enchilada at a really good Mexican restaurant (food can heal the soul, ya know). By this time I was rockin' in life; things seemed to be looking up.
Then, reality.... a certain event occurred, which I will not describe, (but it's not cool, just so you know) and I thought for sure that I would be upset and angry and that I would just lose it at last. However, the strangest thing happened. I started laughing...
The moment I was out of there and driving home, I was alone in the car, with the radio on and the windows down, and I was laughing out loud. It was euphoric - the best of laughter - the kind where you smile and you just can't stop; you laugh, and it feels like it's coming from your heart rather than your stomach; and you can feel your very eyes smiling even when you aren't physically smiling.
I was so blown away by the experience; it was so random. And to make it even more interesting, I found it funny that I was laughing right after that event, which should of had me down again. So I laughed some more, while I sang to the radio - all the way home - all 45 minutes of it.
I gotta tell ya, maybe I did lose it today, finally, but I can't think of a better and more satisfying way to "lose it" in all of eternity. Perhaps, my friends, you think that, at last, I am going crazy; that's alright. Either way, I think my sun is finally setting on the bad days and rising on a fresh, new and glorious day, despite the odd means of it making it to the horizon. :)
September 15, 2010
Ouch...
Ever have those days where everything seems to go very wrong? Or a day when you can't seem to do anything right? That was my day today. It's these days that we need the most understanding and love, but how often do we get them?
I woke up late, realized I needed clean hair and washed it, kept forgetting essential things in the house, and finally left the house... a half an hour late. As irritated as I was about that, I told myself to calm down and just focus on getting there as soon as I possibly could so I wouldn't be any later than I already was. I was making good time despite the traffic, and right after I exited the freeway, I thought to call and let the person who was waiting on me know that I was almost there so that they would be ready, and we could leave. I looked ahead of me to see if there was anyone close enough to hit and there was only this older pick-up about 50 or 75 feet out from me moving along at a decent speed. I mentally calculated that I wouldn't catch up to him at that speed. I looked to grab my phone checked the road again and then looked at the phone and dialed quickly. Right when I got the number into the phone I looked up to see the bumper of that truck about one and a half feet from the front of the my car... There were no break lights the light had been and still was green in front of him, and I had no idea how I had gotten that close to him so fast. Either way, my instincts kicked in and I slammed on the breaks, only to smack right into his trailer hitch... which left a delightful rectangular incision in my front bumper.
By the grace of God I did absolutely no damage whatsoever to his pickup,and the guy I hit, though he treated me like an idiotic kid with no experience in driving, was quite merciful and agreed to let me go with no police involvement or insurance or anything, but as the car I was driving wasn't mine, I knew I'd have to tell the owner what happened and that I'd pay for the damage. Paying for the damage wasn't my problem, admitting to the accident before they discovered it on their own was a different matter altogether...
I never did work up the courage to say anything, though I didn't just leave it there for them to find either. I sat and watched as they discovered the new bumper job and admitted to exactly what happened. Of course, said person was very upset, mostly because I didn't just say something. However, I don't know about you guys, but, when you know beyond a doubt that the person you have to tell something to is either going to over-react or just react in a way that you feel completely out of control and vulnerable to whatever they have to say and/or do, you have that overwhelming urge to stay silent and let what comes come, for better or worse. I was scared of the reaction I'd get, but I knew that leaving things without repairing the damage made would NOT be right AT ALL. I'm not that stupid, haha; I might be an idiot sometimes, but I am NOT that stupid, haha.
As the events of today played out, I was thinking about the sympathy and understanding I was hoping and wishing for but wasn't really getting from the people I needed it from the most. It made my day so much worse to be bashed this way and that, rather than the simple disappointment and possibly even forgiveness that I was wanting. It got me thinking, do I show compassion, mercy, and easy forgiveness to the people who do me wrong or make a mistake that affects me? The thought stumped me. Of course, my first thoughts were defensive, "well of course I do!" However, as I tried to think of specific times when I had been understanding and merciful in these kinds of situations, I had a very hard time thinking of any. Being a logical person I needed those solid pieces of evidence to believe that I was as great of a person, but I wasn't coming up with the proof I needed....
The whole thought process convicted my mind and heart, and I felt truly sorry for all the times I had snapped at someone, when, clearly, it was an accident, and they didn't mean for it to happen at all. I realized how much it hurt to be on the receiving end of things. Obviously I needed to do something that was so stupid and accidental to really truly understand that I haven't been the kindest to those around me.
I realized that it has actually been a long time since I last had a really bad day. I was more thankful for the good in my life after all of that happened, honestly.
I believe that everything that happens happens for a reason. The purpose of my downer day was to teach me just how selfish I can be with my time, money, kindness, mercy and love. If I've learned anything, it's that everyone needs that mercy and love that I wished I could've had, and I definitely need to be sure to be patient with those who need it and show mercy, rather than say or do things I might regret later.
I woke up late, realized I needed clean hair and washed it, kept forgetting essential things in the house, and finally left the house... a half an hour late. As irritated as I was about that, I told myself to calm down and just focus on getting there as soon as I possibly could so I wouldn't be any later than I already was. I was making good time despite the traffic, and right after I exited the freeway, I thought to call and let the person who was waiting on me know that I was almost there so that they would be ready, and we could leave. I looked ahead of me to see if there was anyone close enough to hit and there was only this older pick-up about 50 or 75 feet out from me moving along at a decent speed. I mentally calculated that I wouldn't catch up to him at that speed. I looked to grab my phone checked the road again and then looked at the phone and dialed quickly. Right when I got the number into the phone I looked up to see the bumper of that truck about one and a half feet from the front of the my car... There were no break lights the light had been and still was green in front of him, and I had no idea how I had gotten that close to him so fast. Either way, my instincts kicked in and I slammed on the breaks, only to smack right into his trailer hitch... which left a delightful rectangular incision in my front bumper.
By the grace of God I did absolutely no damage whatsoever to his pickup,and the guy I hit, though he treated me like an idiotic kid with no experience in driving, was quite merciful and agreed to let me go with no police involvement or insurance or anything, but as the car I was driving wasn't mine, I knew I'd have to tell the owner what happened and that I'd pay for the damage. Paying for the damage wasn't my problem, admitting to the accident before they discovered it on their own was a different matter altogether...
I never did work up the courage to say anything, though I didn't just leave it there for them to find either. I sat and watched as they discovered the new bumper job and admitted to exactly what happened. Of course, said person was very upset, mostly because I didn't just say something. However, I don't know about you guys, but, when you know beyond a doubt that the person you have to tell something to is either going to over-react or just react in a way that you feel completely out of control and vulnerable to whatever they have to say and/or do, you have that overwhelming urge to stay silent and let what comes come, for better or worse. I was scared of the reaction I'd get, but I knew that leaving things without repairing the damage made would NOT be right AT ALL. I'm not that stupid, haha; I might be an idiot sometimes, but I am NOT that stupid, haha.
As the events of today played out, I was thinking about the sympathy and understanding I was hoping and wishing for but wasn't really getting from the people I needed it from the most. It made my day so much worse to be bashed this way and that, rather than the simple disappointment and possibly even forgiveness that I was wanting. It got me thinking, do I show compassion, mercy, and easy forgiveness to the people who do me wrong or make a mistake that affects me? The thought stumped me. Of course, my first thoughts were defensive, "well of course I do!" However, as I tried to think of specific times when I had been understanding and merciful in these kinds of situations, I had a very hard time thinking of any. Being a logical person I needed those solid pieces of evidence to believe that I was as great of a person, but I wasn't coming up with the proof I needed....
The whole thought process convicted my mind and heart, and I felt truly sorry for all the times I had snapped at someone, when, clearly, it was an accident, and they didn't mean for it to happen at all. I realized how much it hurt to be on the receiving end of things. Obviously I needed to do something that was so stupid and accidental to really truly understand that I haven't been the kindest to those around me.
I realized that it has actually been a long time since I last had a really bad day. I was more thankful for the good in my life after all of that happened, honestly.
I believe that everything that happens happens for a reason. The purpose of my downer day was to teach me just how selfish I can be with my time, money, kindness, mercy and love. If I've learned anything, it's that everyone needs that mercy and love that I wished I could've had, and I definitely need to be sure to be patient with those who need it and show mercy, rather than say or do things I might regret later.
Quote of the Day - Broken
"We live lives that are hopelessly broken and we know it."
-Paul Tillich-
In response to Mr. Tillich's quote, I'd like to say that I know I am broken, but instead of focusing on the fact that I am broken beyond repair, I choose to embrace the pieces and do my best to put them back together each day and make them work in a way that positively influences the world.
September 13, 2010
Quote of the Day - I was reading....
"To make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe."
-Carl Sagan-
September 12, 2010
Take the Time
I am a writer by nature, and a psychologist by divine design. I often find myself in my own little world, just thinking about things. This concept of being in my own little world came from a song I heard on the radio the other day. The singer talked about how he had to step out of his little bubble and see the world around him, to see the problems other people are facing. Sometimes it takes a nice tap from reality for me to realize that there's definitely more to life than just simply living. Connecting with people on a day to day basis and learning to help whenever given the opportunity despite the inconvenience it might do to our day is definitely a trait I'd like to enhance and perfect in myself. Understanding what people are going through is no big deal to me, but taking the time to do it is a completely different thing altogether.
September 11, 2010
The events of 9-11 have changed the way we live in almost every way. Airport security, political views, economical issues... all of these things are silent reminders of the tragedy that occurred clear back in 2001.
As I was walking on campus today, I saw a type of memorial set up in the grass.
Perhaps I am missing something, but the whole set up seemed empty of emotion. I felt inclined to joke about the memorial. It was the oddest thing. Usually I am very reverent of anything dealing with this day and the people who lost their lives there, leaving countless individuals and families with missing loved ones - holes in their lives. It wasn't the stone there honoring the service members, but the flags in the grass seemed out of place, almost as if putting them there over-glorified the event and made it into something like the Fourth of July.
They might as well have put forks in the place of those flags; it literally felt like some sort of joke.... Why did it feel so out of place and wrong? Was it too vivacious for this tragedy? Am I the one who's out of place?
As I was walking on campus today, I saw a type of memorial set up in the grass.
Perhaps I am missing something, but the whole set up seemed empty of emotion. I felt inclined to joke about the memorial. It was the oddest thing. Usually I am very reverent of anything dealing with this day and the people who lost their lives there, leaving countless individuals and families with missing loved ones - holes in their lives. It wasn't the stone there honoring the service members, but the flags in the grass seemed out of place, almost as if putting them there over-glorified the event and made it into something like the Fourth of July.
They might as well have put forks in the place of those flags; it literally felt like some sort of joke.... Why did it feel so out of place and wrong? Was it too vivacious for this tragedy? Am I the one who's out of place?
9 Years Ago
Nine years ago, at exactly this time in the morning in New York City, "a hijacked passenger jet, American Airlines Flight 11 out of Boston, Massachusetts, crashe[d] into the north tower of the World Trade Center, tearing a gaping hole in the building and setting it afire." (CNN)
This event was only the beginning of the tragedy that would forever be known as 9-11. It changed the world as we all knew it. A tremendous amount of lives were destroyed, and a war that would last for many years to come began.
Americans seem to be born with a sense of invincibility. We all seem to believe that nothing could ever touch us, and even if they got close, we'd stop them and end it right then and there before anyone had a chance to see any real action. September 11, 2001 changed all of that. People were suddenly insecure, demanding that the government protect them. Children were suddenly aware of the definition of terrorism. Neighbors became uneasy because of the color of skin that one family on the block had.
I'd like to take a moment to remember those whose lives were taken from them and to honor those who lost someone that day. I'd also like to thank the soldiers overseas for going and doing their duty, and the families who have sacrificed so much so that they could go and take care of business. I'd also like to honor those who served in the efforts for rescue and aid to those at ground zero that day and the days following.
God bless you all, and God bless America.
http://archives.cnn.com/2001/US/09/11/chronology.attack/
The above link accesses a page that contains the chronological events of 9-11-01.
September 10, 2010
Common sense anyone? Guess not...
"It's just how humans work we know the facts but we still do it anyway just like eating a hot pepper or grabbing a plate or bowl out of the microwave or putting your hand on a burner or playing with fire"
R.W.
Perfectly stated, so simple but true. As humans, we often know that the things we do to ourselves or to others even is foolish or idiotic, but we do it anyway. I guess in a way we all have that sense of invincibility and we need to hit ourselves over the head every once in a while (not literally, but I could definitely see some crazy teenager or college student doing something like that, haha) to realize just how vulnerable we truly are.
September 9, 2010
Sunsets
I love crazy looking sunsets like this one, which I got to witness a couple of days ago. They remind me that no matter what you may be going through, there will always be an end to it, good or bad, and a new beginning after it's all said and done.Our sad days can end in rain without the beauty of a sunset, but it still sets all the same, leaving us with the coolness of night and the promise of a new morning after the storm.
Sadly, this also applies to our happy moments, they too must come to an end sometime, but these are often the radiant sunsets that we revel in and watch until the sun sinks under the horizon, leaving beautiful and slowly fading colors to remind us of that time.
So, no matter what sunset you may be facing today, remember that there's a sunrise on its way. :)
September 3, 2010
I am from...
by Tia Alsleben
I am from the dense cities, empty fields, and lush rain forests,
from dry heat, vast oceans, and simple plains.
I am from innovative leadership, quiet submission, boisterous laughter, and loads of sarcasm.
From free-to-be thinkers and controlling dictators,
from conformists and revolutionaries, liberals and conservatives.
I am from Narnia, Naboo, and Alagëasia,
from the fantastic world of imagination, the beautiful lands of dreams, the bittersweet slap of reality.
I am from the intelligent, the over-opinionated, the determined, the irrational, and the logical.
I am from two worlds.
I am from the dense cities, empty fields, and lush rain forests,
from dry heat, vast oceans, and simple plains.
I am from innovative leadership, quiet submission, boisterous laughter, and loads of sarcasm.
From free-to-be thinkers and controlling dictators,
from conformists and revolutionaries, liberals and conservatives.
I am from Narnia, Naboo, and Alagëasia,
from the fantastic world of imagination, the beautiful lands of dreams, the bittersweet slap of reality.
I am from the intelligent, the over-opinionated, the determined, the irrational, and the logical.
I am from two worlds.
September 2, 2010
Guys, the soft ones in a relationship?
I am in a sociology class, and we had an assignment to look up some studies that have been recently studied by sociologists. I found an article on the relationship between substance abuse and romantic relationships in the two years following high school. Apparently, if a teenager just out of high school is in a relationship he/she is 40% less likely to use damaging substances like alcohol or marijuana, than if he/she was single during that time. However, if the individual's boyfriend/girlfriend is a substance user, that same person can also be inclined to start using what his/her partner is using. So, if you are in a relationship you influence your spouse's/boyfriend's/girlfriend's substance use.
My article wasn't as interesting to me as the one a bunch of other people found. It was about guys being more shaken up by relationship issues than girls. I found that interesting because it always seems like the girl is the emotional wreck after a relationship ends, but guys are actually silently hurting more.
The reason for this is that women are naturally inclined to have deep relationships with the people they become friends with, while men tend to keep the relationships pretty much on the surface level especially with his guy buddies, parents, and so forth (not so much with friends that are girls though). Therefore, when a guy goes into a relationship, he allows himself to have a deeper relationship with her, and he is more emotionally involved. So if there are any troubles between them, he is very shaken up since he isn't used to being so emotionally attached to the situation. Females on the other hand normally form deeper connections with their girlfriends or even their guy friends, so when the hard times hit, they are more accustomed to the emotional turmoil and are able to deal with it better.
So guys are mush balls under all that tough, manly crap :) Eh, it's not a bad thing; girls tend to like when a guy has both of those particular two dimensions to them: the tough guy and the sensitive sweetheart. Of course, there are a lot more than just those two levels to a guy, but those other ones vary from guy to guy I think.
For me, this was interesting because it never occurred to me that this is how guys are, and it makes perfect sense to me. It's one of those moments where I bang my forehead on the table and say to myself, "gosh, I shoulda known that..." Haha, ah well, ya learn something new everyday. So to all the guys out there, I apologize for all the girls who like to toy around with your hearts. People always seem to look down on the guy when a girl comes out of a relationship seeming destroyed within, which can be very unfair. Thanks for being the macho guys and the cute mushballs, us girls love :)
Some of the information above was purely my opinion/thoughts, but a lot of it came from the following articles, which can be found through the following links:
Relationships Can Lower Substance Use in Young People
http://www.asanet.org/press/relationships_and_substance_use.cfm
Study: Young Men More Vulnerable Than Women to Relationship Ups and Downs
http://www.asanet.org/press/relationship_ups_and_downs.cfm
My article wasn't as interesting to me as the one a bunch of other people found. It was about guys being more shaken up by relationship issues than girls. I found that interesting because it always seems like the girl is the emotional wreck after a relationship ends, but guys are actually silently hurting more.
The reason for this is that women are naturally inclined to have deep relationships with the people they become friends with, while men tend to keep the relationships pretty much on the surface level especially with his guy buddies, parents, and so forth (not so much with friends that are girls though). Therefore, when a guy goes into a relationship, he allows himself to have a deeper relationship with her, and he is more emotionally involved. So if there are any troubles between them, he is very shaken up since he isn't used to being so emotionally attached to the situation. Females on the other hand normally form deeper connections with their girlfriends or even their guy friends, so when the hard times hit, they are more accustomed to the emotional turmoil and are able to deal with it better.
So guys are mush balls under all that tough, manly crap :) Eh, it's not a bad thing; girls tend to like when a guy has both of those particular two dimensions to them: the tough guy and the sensitive sweetheart. Of course, there are a lot more than just those two levels to a guy, but those other ones vary from guy to guy I think.
For me, this was interesting because it never occurred to me that this is how guys are, and it makes perfect sense to me. It's one of those moments where I bang my forehead on the table and say to myself, "gosh, I shoulda known that..." Haha, ah well, ya learn something new everyday. So to all the guys out there, I apologize for all the girls who like to toy around with your hearts. People always seem to look down on the guy when a girl comes out of a relationship seeming destroyed within, which can be very unfair. Thanks for being the macho guys and the cute mushballs, us girls love :)
Some of the information above was purely my opinion/thoughts, but a lot of it came from the following articles, which can be found through the following links:
Relationships Can Lower Substance Use in Young People
http://www.asanet.org/press/relationships_and_substance_use.cfm
Study: Young Men More Vulnerable Than Women to Relationship Ups and Downs
http://www.asanet.org/press/relationship_ups_and_downs.cfm
A Blessing and a Eulogy
The word "bless" comes from a Greek word meaning "to speak well of" (or something close to that lol). This is actually where we get our word eulogy from. I found this to be a really funny coincidence, since I just posted a blog entry about legacies. If you're missing the connection here, eulogies are those great speeches that chosen people give at funerals, which describe just how amazing and special the particular deceased person was - when he/she was alive. Essentially the individual who gives the eulogy is describing the legacy of the person who passed away. Granted, these are usually pretty candy-coated; I mean, you never seem to hear someone bash on the dead at their funeral.
I found it interesting that the word for "bless" in Greek brought about those two particular words. When I think of blessings, I don't think of the dead. I think of the homeless or those who have been dealt a rough set of cards in life. I think of giving things, not necessarily kind words, though they too can also be a blessing.
What I pulled out of this was that the connection between these two words is something to think about. To me, there is absolutely no point in blessing someone after they are dead. None. Zilch. Nada. Yeah you can speak well of them or acknowledge their faults or funny idiosyncrasies, but they don't care... They're kind of gone... Yes, I am all for honoring the dead, remembering them and what they have done, but I say leave the blessing part for the living. Do we really have to see someone die before we can say something kind and complimentary about them?
I found it interesting that the word for "bless" in Greek brought about those two particular words. When I think of blessings, I don't think of the dead. I think of the homeless or those who have been dealt a rough set of cards in life. I think of giving things, not necessarily kind words, though they too can also be a blessing.
What I pulled out of this was that the connection between these two words is something to think about. To me, there is absolutely no point in blessing someone after they are dead. None. Zilch. Nada. Yeah you can speak well of them or acknowledge their faults or funny idiosyncrasies, but they don't care... They're kind of gone... Yes, I am all for honoring the dead, remembering them and what they have done, but I say leave the blessing part for the living. Do we really have to see someone die before we can say something kind and complimentary about them?
September 1, 2010
Quote of the Day - Random guy on campus
"When I see an Asian who has dyed their hair blonde, I want to cry."
-Random guy talking to his Asian guy friend on Campus-
A Legacy
Besides being a really cool word to say, haha, legacy is the topic of the day. :)
Wooo, rhyming skills! Yes! haha
Aaaanyway, since I started my college classes I have found myself either not thinking at all or thinking about something deep and perceptive. It's a vicious cycle, lemme tell ya. Lately, I have thought a lot about depression, death, and other such dark topics. Ever since, my episode with death, I have found a true passion for that subject, especially when related to depression and stuff like that; it intrigues me in a way, and though I'll never actually try to experience death, I have thought about it.
When thinking about death I think of what and who I'll be leaving behind. I experience a little of what people think of me here and there, but I can never really know what people honestly think about me either because they don't know themselves, or they may be afraid of telling me for various reasons. Thinking about leaving people behind, I wonder how I have affected their lives. All of us leave a mark on those we come in contact with for the most part. Granted, the random people you see walking by you on the street might see you, and absolutely nothing has changed about their day, much less their life, except the fact that they saw yet another random person walking by them. Of course this would be a different scenario if you were the only person they saw walking that day, but that's another rabbit trail I'll leave behind.
So, what will I leave behind? Well, I suppose I'd have to look at the people who I know best: my parents, my extended family, my best friends, my romantic relations, my teachers/professors, and the list goes on and on and on.... Then, I examine what I have changed in their lives.
My parents are pretty obvious; if I hadn't been born they would have had very different lives... No duh.... What about the people I haven't known my whole life or that haven't known me their whole lives? High school friends, for example. How have I affected them positively? Negatively? How many lives have I touched? How many have I touched without the knowledge of doing so?
It's truly incredible how much of an effect one person can have on the world. The ripple effect of one life is quite amazing if you think about it. It reminds me of the old yet classic movie, It's a Wonderful Life. Those burning questions: what would have happened to the people I know and had known if I had never existed? It's a hard question to answer; obviously we never know what could have happened, but I probably think about it a little more than others might.
Looking at my own life, I have a somewhat difficult time figuring out what my legacy might be. I like to think that I have done a lot of good in people's lives, but I know that I have broken some hearts, bent some knees, and opened some eyes. Would people have been better off without me? That's a tough question, really. First of all, to answer no would sound very self-centered in a way, haha. Second, there are a lot of factors that play into such an answer. For example, my parents may have never been married so long, perhaps they would've had a different child who was born much later than I was, which would, of course, have changed their lives as well. Or maybe they wouldn't have any kids and would have divorced long ago, if they ever got married at all.
If I could die and walk around for a week after my death, and come back I'm not sure if I would. Honestly, I would love to. It would be so interesting to find out what people say about me when I'm no longer a part of this world, but at the same time, knowing all this stuff about what people think of me might change how I treat certain people, I might be totally different after I returned. That could be a good or a bad thing, I guess.
My point in all of this is simply that, as I examine what I am composed of as an individual, I find that there are some areas in my life that I would like to change about myself. There are also things that I am proud to be. What are some things that you would like to have as part of your legacy? A good writer? Funny? Intelligent? Interesting personality? Fun to be around? A mentor to someone? A good friend to everyone?
What is your legacy?
Wooo, rhyming skills! Yes! haha
Aaaanyway, since I started my college classes I have found myself either not thinking at all or thinking about something deep and perceptive. It's a vicious cycle, lemme tell ya. Lately, I have thought a lot about depression, death, and other such dark topics. Ever since, my episode with death, I have found a true passion for that subject, especially when related to depression and stuff like that; it intrigues me in a way, and though I'll never actually try to experience death, I have thought about it.
When thinking about death I think of what and who I'll be leaving behind. I experience a little of what people think of me here and there, but I can never really know what people honestly think about me either because they don't know themselves, or they may be afraid of telling me for various reasons. Thinking about leaving people behind, I wonder how I have affected their lives. All of us leave a mark on those we come in contact with for the most part. Granted, the random people you see walking by you on the street might see you, and absolutely nothing has changed about their day, much less their life, except the fact that they saw yet another random person walking by them. Of course this would be a different scenario if you were the only person they saw walking that day, but that's another rabbit trail I'll leave behind.
So, what will I leave behind? Well, I suppose I'd have to look at the people who I know best: my parents, my extended family, my best friends, my romantic relations, my teachers/professors, and the list goes on and on and on.... Then, I examine what I have changed in their lives.
My parents are pretty obvious; if I hadn't been born they would have had very different lives... No duh.... What about the people I haven't known my whole life or that haven't known me their whole lives? High school friends, for example. How have I affected them positively? Negatively? How many lives have I touched? How many have I touched without the knowledge of doing so?
It's truly incredible how much of an effect one person can have on the world. The ripple effect of one life is quite amazing if you think about it. It reminds me of the old yet classic movie, It's a Wonderful Life. Those burning questions: what would have happened to the people I know and had known if I had never existed? It's a hard question to answer; obviously we never know what could have happened, but I probably think about it a little more than others might.
Looking at my own life, I have a somewhat difficult time figuring out what my legacy might be. I like to think that I have done a lot of good in people's lives, but I know that I have broken some hearts, bent some knees, and opened some eyes. Would people have been better off without me? That's a tough question, really. First of all, to answer no would sound very self-centered in a way, haha. Second, there are a lot of factors that play into such an answer. For example, my parents may have never been married so long, perhaps they would've had a different child who was born much later than I was, which would, of course, have changed their lives as well. Or maybe they wouldn't have any kids and would have divorced long ago, if they ever got married at all.
If I could die and walk around for a week after my death, and come back I'm not sure if I would. Honestly, I would love to. It would be so interesting to find out what people say about me when I'm no longer a part of this world, but at the same time, knowing all this stuff about what people think of me might change how I treat certain people, I might be totally different after I returned. That could be a good or a bad thing, I guess.
My point in all of this is simply that, as I examine what I am composed of as an individual, I find that there are some areas in my life that I would like to change about myself. There are also things that I am proud to be. What are some things that you would like to have as part of your legacy? A good writer? Funny? Intelligent? Interesting personality? Fun to be around? A mentor to someone? A good friend to everyone?
What is your legacy?
the day starts with the sun, the night with the moon, the length of one day goes by too soon. the light of our days leave us happy and gay, but as darkness descends our elations decay. the darkness a reminder that we'll all meet an end that we're unafraid we cannot pretend. IT's the train in the tunnel we can't see but hear, a chill down the spine as we seize up in fear, the vibrations grow stronger, the train is near, an imminent fate so we cry our last tear. why must we worry about things we can't change, its outcome fixed, we can't rearrange. an incessant need to ignore and deny, our preservation instincts insist that we lie. we rely on happiness to get through this life, to brighten the dark times filled with trouble and strife. keep hold of the things that make you smile, cast away such thoughts that call themselves vile, immerce yourself into the state of denile and maybe you'll live for awhile.
Jamie Quarles
August 30, 2010
Dealing with Disappointment
Today I found out that I was dropped from my favorite class this semester. I had been praying soooo hard to get this class, and my heart sunk as soon as I realized it was true. It's funny how you always hear these stories of how God did amazing things and people got all that they had hoped for and everything worked out in the end. Rarely do you hear a story of an individual saying that they lost the big game even though they prayed soooo hard or that they failed a class despite their fervent talks with God on the subject.
So I'd like to be among the unusual, as is normal for me. I was really hoping for this class. I did all the assignment on time, made sure to arrive to class early, sat in a seat that allowed me a good view of the board to take notes, etc. Then, I checked my status on the wait list online.... dropped. I was so disappointed. I loooove math lol. Yeah, yeah, typical Asian I know... Anyway, so I found out that I was no longer in it, and first, I just sat there in shock. God hasn't said no to me in a while, really. It was an awakening that not everything I want is in His will. No duh, yeah I know.
The weird thing about it all was that I wasn't upset, mad, or angry. It was like I had a simple peace about it mingled with some sadness and crushed hope. Perhaps the lesson of the day is that, in order to have peace and understanding of situations we go through we must put total trust in God, and He will say yes or no and give us happiness either way. There is also the less religious-sounding version: hope for the best and prepare for the worst - which just happens to be my personal motto. :)
I guess I just have a lot of faith lately, and I'm not really all that sure why. Perhaps, I'm growing more mature and learning to take life as it comes, with all the happy moments as well as the moments that it punches me in the gut.... Everyone has to find their place in their lives: who they want to be, how they want to be perceived, who they want to have in their lives, what they want to leave behind as a legacy. Hmmmm... legacies. A new topic to write on??
So I'd like to be among the unusual, as is normal for me. I was really hoping for this class. I did all the assignment on time, made sure to arrive to class early, sat in a seat that allowed me a good view of the board to take notes, etc. Then, I checked my status on the wait list online.... dropped. I was so disappointed. I loooove math lol. Yeah, yeah, typical Asian I know... Anyway, so I found out that I was no longer in it, and first, I just sat there in shock. God hasn't said no to me in a while, really. It was an awakening that not everything I want is in His will. No duh, yeah I know.
The weird thing about it all was that I wasn't upset, mad, or angry. It was like I had a simple peace about it mingled with some sadness and crushed hope. Perhaps the lesson of the day is that, in order to have peace and understanding of situations we go through we must put total trust in God, and He will say yes or no and give us happiness either way. There is also the less religious-sounding version: hope for the best and prepare for the worst - which just happens to be my personal motto. :)
I guess I just have a lot of faith lately, and I'm not really all that sure why. Perhaps, I'm growing more mature and learning to take life as it comes, with all the happy moments as well as the moments that it punches me in the gut.... Everyone has to find their place in their lives: who they want to be, how they want to be perceived, who they want to have in their lives, what they want to leave behind as a legacy. Hmmmm... legacies. A new topic to write on??
August 29, 2010
Cowgirls Don't
It's been said that cowgirls never cry. I disagree.
I think cowgirls do cry, they just do it alone in a pasture or out on their horses or in their bedrooms and hope to God that one time they'll get caught doing it by that one guy who will wrap her in his arms and say it's okay to cry because he'll always be there when she does.
I think cowgirls do cry, they just do it alone in a pasture or out on their horses or in their bedrooms and hope to God that one time they'll get caught doing it by that one guy who will wrap her in his arms and say it's okay to cry because he'll always be there when she does.
August 25, 2010
Writing with Change in Mind
"Any form of writing can change the world. Your goal is to find the form that allows you to use every one of your talents in the service of what you consider to be your most important goals. You want to search for what you alone can say and then how you can say it most effectively."
-Mary Pipher in her book, Writing to Change the World-
This idea of writing to change the world intrigues me. Writing has done a lot of good and a lot of damage to the world. Books like Uncle Tom's Cabin and The Diary of Anne Frank as well as thing like news articles and media have made a huge impact on those who have read them for the most part.
I wish to someday write in a way that speaks to people. A way that not only holds them in place wanting to read more, but a way that causes them to think in a new way or take action that they never would have before or even just change the way they live because they have seen a new light on an old subject.
Hopefully, my writing is somewhat interesting now haha, since I do have some people that read this stuff. However, I will continue to strive to make what I write more connect-able to the world or just the little world that I happen to speak to now :)
I wish to someday write in a way that speaks to people. A way that not only holds them in place wanting to read more, but a way that causes them to think in a new way or take action that they never would have before or even just change the way they live because they have seen a new light on an old subject.
Hopefully, my writing is somewhat interesting now haha, since I do have some people that read this stuff. However, I will continue to strive to make what I write more connect-able to the world or just the little world that I happen to speak to now :)
August 24, 2010
Oh boy the college life
So, I have decided that so far, I am not liking college as much as I thought I would. However, in my continuing efforts to look at life in a positive light, I have decided to give it all a good chance and keep pushing forward just like I would if I liked what I was doing haha.
I suppose that life in college is just something that I'm not used to. I guess there are things in all of our lives that we don't like, but with me, there are many things I don't like that I eventually grow to tolerate easily or even love doing in the end. I have high hopes that college will be one of those things for me. It better grow on me, or this is going to be the longest four or so years of my life! Haha.
As I thought about why exactly I didn't like college so far, I came to the conclusion that I love the campus, the environment, some of the professors, etc., but I do not like being without a companion to at least have near by in a class or at least to see after class or even just for lunch. The loneliness despite the vast numbers of people roaming campus around me is disheartening honestly, but I figured that I will find friends in time. So, as I like to say to many of my friends, chin up! Everything will work out, no worries. :)
I suppose that life in college is just something that I'm not used to. I guess there are things in all of our lives that we don't like, but with me, there are many things I don't like that I eventually grow to tolerate easily or even love doing in the end. I have high hopes that college will be one of those things for me. It better grow on me, or this is going to be the longest four or so years of my life! Haha.
As I thought about why exactly I didn't like college so far, I came to the conclusion that I love the campus, the environment, some of the professors, etc., but I do not like being without a companion to at least have near by in a class or at least to see after class or even just for lunch. The loneliness despite the vast numbers of people roaming campus around me is disheartening honestly, but I figured that I will find friends in time. So, as I like to say to many of my friends, chin up! Everything will work out, no worries. :)
August 20, 2010
by Chance Johns
These are the streets I use to roam,
Everyday an adventure in a land of my creation,
Jungle and plains,
Deserts and oceans where mine to explore,
My faithful friends always ready for our next challenge,
But as I changed the streets changed,
The jungles torn down and the oceans polluted,
The plans replaced with concrete and the desert a graveyard,
For as I grew my world grew with me ever changing,
My world is now a place of little color and wonder,
The child I once was slowly starts to fade away to dust,
His toys locked away and he’s friends moved on,
And so he waits alone in the empty world he once called his own,
These are the streets I use to roam,
Everyday an adventure in a land of my creation,
Jungle and plains,
Deserts and oceans where mine to explore,
My faithful friends always ready for our next challenge,
But as I changed the streets changed,
The jungles torn down and the oceans polluted,
The plans replaced with concrete and the desert a graveyard,
For as I grew my world grew with me ever changing,
My world is now a place of little color and wonder,
The child I once was slowly starts to fade away to dust,
His toys locked away and he’s friends moved on,
And so he waits alone in the empty world he once called his own,
August 19, 2010
Reining in the Tongue
If there is anything that I struggle with, this would probably be the most damaging of them all. I find that it is tough to think while speaking, which is why I find writing an easy alternative. I often find myself saying things I know I'll regret later, especially to those I love the most. I suppose that idea of loving someone and them loving you makes it easier to lash out with the tongue and do some pretty deep damage at times. To me, that person is almost obligated to love you, especially when they're family. It's a sad way to think about things, but unfortunately, it's how most of us usually think, whether consciously or not.
I guess the old saying comes into play here whether talking to or about someone...
"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
So, to all of you out there who I have either cut down with words or made ya look bad somehow, I'm sorry. Love you all! :D
I guess the old saying comes into play here whether talking to or about someone...
"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
So, to all of you out there who I have either cut down with words or made ya look bad somehow, I'm sorry. Love you all! :D
August 18, 2010
When asked where we they think we are going as a culture, one of the Skit Guys, Tommy Woodard answered with the following (which is only a part, but it caught my attention):
When I was a little kid, I would sit in the back seat lots of times while my dad drove somewhere, and I may not have known where we were going, but I knew it was okay cuz dad was drivin', and that's my attitude on life; I'm not sure where we're goin', but I know my father - my heavenly Father - is drivin'. Not gonna worry about it.
When I was a little kid, I would sit in the back seat lots of times while my dad drove somewhere, and I may not have known where we were going, but I knew it was okay cuz dad was drivin', and that's my attitude on life; I'm not sure where we're goin', but I know my father - my heavenly Father - is drivin'. Not gonna worry about it.
Moving forward
Today was the first day of high school for many of my friends. For me, it's my last free Wednesday before I have my first day of college classes. After months of having endless free time and wondering what on earth to do with it all, I find myself in a solemn mood. I suppose reality took it's toll today, not that I'm sad or dismal, on the contrary I'm silently excited, haha.
I was just an eye-opening thought: I'm moving on, and I didn't even notice.
I was just an eye-opening thought: I'm moving on, and I didn't even notice.
August 16, 2010
This is how I heard your day was going...
First, you had trouble getting out of bed....
You had a stiff neck...
You washed your hair and couldn't do a thing with it
Your new diet really doesn't seem to be working out...
You pulled a muscle when you tried to exercise...
Your new hat looked better on you at the store...
You keep losing things...
Your boss chewed you out at work...
You got caught in the rain at lunchtime...
The lunch you had didn't seem to agree with you...
You feel trapped...
Uninvited guests showed up at dinnertime.....
On top of that, you think you're coming down with the flu.
And finally, you're alone in the house at night, and you think you hear a noise in the basement.
Maybe tomorrow will be better......
Just remember, handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it,
just pee on it and walk away!
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