I recently started reading a book titled Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, and I have really enjoyed what I have read so far. I was curious to see if the book was any good, since, on the front cover, it read, "Discovering the secret of a man's soul." Guys have always interested me as far as the way that they think, and I often considered myself to be "one of the guys" when I was a bit younger than I am now. I think that I am not so much a tomboy as I used to be, but I still think that guy logic is a bit easier to deal with than girl logic, which is, to some, not really logic, but an overdependence on emotion.
Anyway, I got through the first couple chapters and really liked what I was soaking in from its pages. John Eldredge makes some good points, men are bored, and they need to be awakened in society. Here in America, we ask a man to go against his own nature. Men have the innate desire to be aggressive, not violent necessarily, but to attack something, whether it be a golf ball or a deer in the forest, and succeed in their quest. Instead, they are often asked to be "nice." They must be punctual, clean-cut, subdued. They are often found at desks in some building in front of a computer or mulling over papers, on the phone, etc. How many guys can say they would rather sit in their office than go out and pursue something, to go on some sort of adventure? Yeah, guys will say they should stay at home and keep their responsibilities going rather than run off on some adventure, but the desire is still there, I think. Guys are okay with the "safe zone," rather than go out and try, they would rather stay where they are and be "safe" in their job, family, etc.
As I continue to read this book, I hope to find what John Eldredge thinks is the solution for such a problem in our society. How can guys embrace who they were made to be and become better men as a result? Perhaps this little excursion into the pages of a book will enlighten me and open my eyes to how I can be a better woman to support my man and what he is truly made of.
October 4, 2011
September 11, 2011
The Good Ol' Days?
This last Friday I attended my old high school's football game. I was excited to see some of the people I hadn't seen in nearly a year. I dressed in school spirit, donning the one and only t-shirt I own that I bought with the colors and school name on it and all that. I arrived a little late, having went out to eat before the game, but I wasn't worried, high school football games aren't nearly as exciting as college football in my opinion.
I saw the students along with my old teachers and administrators, and I was excited to hear a couple old nicknames from teachers and friends I had :) It didn't take too long to realize how different everything was. People dressed in the strangest clothes, make-up was more abundant that it ever was when I went there, and all the people were smaller, haha! For once in my life I actually wasn't really all that short in comparison to everyone else! I swear, freshmen literally get smaller and smaller every year, and I don't say that because I am getting taller! I haven't grown in at least 3 or 4 years, so it's not because I am getting bigger that I assume all the childrens are getting smaller. Believe me. (Yes, I spelled childrens wrong, and yes, it was intentional.)
I met up with an old friend of mine who had graduated the year after I did. We both looked around and said to each other just how different the school was. It has literally been taken over by a whole herd of immature, strangely-dressed aliens getting what Idaho calls an education. I wondered aloud if I had been like these kids in my days there.
Since the day I signed up for classes at Boise State, I have missed high school in many ways. Granted college is a wonderful thing in many respects (especially in the football respect haha ;), but it is also not as fun as high school ever was. I wished I could return to the days where attendance was mandatory, when teachers cared about your grades and talked to your parents about how great (or horrible) of a kid you were that semester. I missed seeing the best people in the world every school day and getting to laugh with and at each other while waiting for the buses to show up and take us home. I missed going out with my best buds for movies and McDonald's after. I missed the stupid romance in high school. Even the drama had been entertaining in some ways, haha.
Looking at how much the place I loved so dearly has changed, I realized that perhaps it was for the best that I left it when I did. Maybe someday I'll have to become a teacher at the old place and make a difference there. If that never happens, I think I'll always have to visit every now and again. However, I can't say that I want to go back anymore. I wish the good ol' days would return, but it seems like they are so far gone now.
In light of my rather disappointing discoveries, I have decided to look forward with a twinkle in my eye. There is no point in looking back to something that is no longer there. Perhaps this is why I felt the need to return. I needed to see that I'm heading towards a better place. :)
I saw the students along with my old teachers and administrators, and I was excited to hear a couple old nicknames from teachers and friends I had :) It didn't take too long to realize how different everything was. People dressed in the strangest clothes, make-up was more abundant that it ever was when I went there, and all the people were smaller, haha! For once in my life I actually wasn't really all that short in comparison to everyone else! I swear, freshmen literally get smaller and smaller every year, and I don't say that because I am getting taller! I haven't grown in at least 3 or 4 years, so it's not because I am getting bigger that I assume all the childrens are getting smaller. Believe me. (Yes, I spelled childrens wrong, and yes, it was intentional.)
I met up with an old friend of mine who had graduated the year after I did. We both looked around and said to each other just how different the school was. It has literally been taken over by a whole herd of immature, strangely-dressed aliens getting what Idaho calls an education. I wondered aloud if I had been like these kids in my days there.
Since the day I signed up for classes at Boise State, I have missed high school in many ways. Granted college is a wonderful thing in many respects (especially in the football respect haha ;), but it is also not as fun as high school ever was. I wished I could return to the days where attendance was mandatory, when teachers cared about your grades and talked to your parents about how great (or horrible) of a kid you were that semester. I missed seeing the best people in the world every school day and getting to laugh with and at each other while waiting for the buses to show up and take us home. I missed going out with my best buds for movies and McDonald's after. I missed the stupid romance in high school. Even the drama had been entertaining in some ways, haha.
Looking at how much the place I loved so dearly has changed, I realized that perhaps it was for the best that I left it when I did. Maybe someday I'll have to become a teacher at the old place and make a difference there. If that never happens, I think I'll always have to visit every now and again. However, I can't say that I want to go back anymore. I wish the good ol' days would return, but it seems like they are so far gone now.
In light of my rather disappointing discoveries, I have decided to look forward with a twinkle in my eye. There is no point in looking back to something that is no longer there. Perhaps this is why I felt the need to return. I needed to see that I'm heading towards a better place. :)
9-11
It's hard to believe that it's been 10 years to the day that the Twin Towers and World Trade Center were attacked. I was only 8 back then, almost 9. These days, the whole attack has a lot more significance to me. I remember as a kid hearing that the towers were attacked, I didn't understand what was going on at all. All I knew was that my mom tried waking me up to tell me this, and I think that I came into the room where she was watching everything on TV, but I really don't remember. All I know is that my life didn't seem to have any immediate effects from the whole thing. I went about my little existence as I usually did: playing, doing school work and getting into trouble.
When I got a little older, possibly a few years or so, I started understanding just what happened on September 11, 2001. Traveling by plane no longer was a simple feat. Being a military family, we moved in 2003 to Hawaii after having been in California for a mere 3 years. Airport security was tight, and traveling home to Idaho was quite the excursion every year with all of the scanning and processing and whatnot we all had to go through.
I saw the attacks as a sad day for America, and I realized that a war had begun, regardless of what others were calling it. At one point I became very interested in the whole thing and began actually looking into what others were saying about what had happened so long ago. I believe this happened after I became a teenager and had moved yet again to finally end up where I am now. I was in high school at the time, probably a sophomore or junior. Everything finally made sense to me, I saw Clinton's mistakes which led to the attacks, and I saw the controversy of the war. I saw just how angry so many people had become, as well as how relaxed they were in their little lifestyles. It amazes me just how stupid Americans are these days (no offense, but we are).
This day 10 years ago changed our lives dramatically, whether we see it now or not. I look back and wonder how different I might have felt if I had been my current age when the attacks aired that morning. What would I have done then?
Looking forward from this 10-year anniversary of such a tragic day for America, I really don't know what to expect from our nation 5 or even 2 years from now. My beliefs about America aren't exactly optimistic, but I hope continually that somehow, someway, America will become a better, more responsible nation than it has been in the past 10 years.
When I got a little older, possibly a few years or so, I started understanding just what happened on September 11, 2001. Traveling by plane no longer was a simple feat. Being a military family, we moved in 2003 to Hawaii after having been in California for a mere 3 years. Airport security was tight, and traveling home to Idaho was quite the excursion every year with all of the scanning and processing and whatnot we all had to go through.
I saw the attacks as a sad day for America, and I realized that a war had begun, regardless of what others were calling it. At one point I became very interested in the whole thing and began actually looking into what others were saying about what had happened so long ago. I believe this happened after I became a teenager and had moved yet again to finally end up where I am now. I was in high school at the time, probably a sophomore or junior. Everything finally made sense to me, I saw Clinton's mistakes which led to the attacks, and I saw the controversy of the war. I saw just how angry so many people had become, as well as how relaxed they were in their little lifestyles. It amazes me just how stupid Americans are these days (no offense, but we are).
This day 10 years ago changed our lives dramatically, whether we see it now or not. I look back and wonder how different I might have felt if I had been my current age when the attacks aired that morning. What would I have done then?
Looking forward from this 10-year anniversary of such a tragic day for America, I really don't know what to expect from our nation 5 or even 2 years from now. My beliefs about America aren't exactly optimistic, but I hope continually that somehow, someway, America will become a better, more responsible nation than it has been in the past 10 years.
July 31, 2011
Ginger Ale and Chicken Wings
Upon request from a special person, I have been asked to write about my family. I have to say that my family may be the largest collection of Asian nutcases ever to walk the Idaho state boundaries, but hey, you don't choose your family ;) you just love them.
In order to understand anything about my family, you really have to first understand Japanese people. They are strange people really, I won't lie. First of all, not all of us are computer nerds and math geeks, but there are a dang lot of us who can beat your butt at algebra and physics, not to mention a lot of video games you can't even pronounce, much less actually play ;) Yes, we do have eyes that are a different shape, but it's kinda rude to make fun of how someone looks, so don't make any comments to us. Most of us will be offended, just sayin'.
Now for some of the deeper facts about Asians. Guys are dominant, girls are submissive. It kinda sucks. In the more traditional Japanese families, guys rule; they generally just expect everyone in the house to do whatever they want, when they want it done, how they want it done. Women are generally expected to keep their opinions to themselves, make the family look good, and take care of the home. In America, this thinking is a bit "outdated" and "unrealistic" as some people might say. Here in America, we think of families as a group of people who all have an equal opportunity to rise and fulfill their dreams in life, no matter if they are male or female, a different color from the next guy or girl out there, or if they came from a family lacking in social status. So it's definitely tough to live in a family of traditional Japanese thinking, when they seem to think the world is the same as it was 50 years ago.
One more thing I will say about Japanese people; they like to keep their lives on the down low a lot. They like to present a family or just themselves as not needing help. They are very proud people, who would rather die than fail, and heaven forbid they lose some of their honor by receiving help from someone who isn't in the family.
There's a LOT more to it all than that of course, but to keep it short, that's some of the basic foundations. I will say that not all of my family is exactly like that, in fact, a lot of them are pretty Americanized. There are a few who are kind of stuck in the past or in their own little Japanese mindset, but for the most part, we younger generations are pretty American.
My family doesn't include just Japanese though. I am a mutt. I have a white family as well who are quite another story altogether, which I will save for another time, I think. Each family is definitely different, but the combination produced me, so I can't really complain too much, haha.
I think my family is a pretty fun group :) We can have a pretty good time when we're all together and hanging out, though the family drama can be a little annoying at times, but really, who's family is perfectly drama-free?
I love my family, and I don't think I'd trade them for anyone else (okay, maybe one or two of them ;)
In order to understand anything about my family, you really have to first understand Japanese people. They are strange people really, I won't lie. First of all, not all of us are computer nerds and math geeks, but there are a dang lot of us who can beat your butt at algebra and physics, not to mention a lot of video games you can't even pronounce, much less actually play ;) Yes, we do have eyes that are a different shape, but it's kinda rude to make fun of how someone looks, so don't make any comments to us. Most of us will be offended, just sayin'.
Now for some of the deeper facts about Asians. Guys are dominant, girls are submissive. It kinda sucks. In the more traditional Japanese families, guys rule; they generally just expect everyone in the house to do whatever they want, when they want it done, how they want it done. Women are generally expected to keep their opinions to themselves, make the family look good, and take care of the home. In America, this thinking is a bit "outdated" and "unrealistic" as some people might say. Here in America, we think of families as a group of people who all have an equal opportunity to rise and fulfill their dreams in life, no matter if they are male or female, a different color from the next guy or girl out there, or if they came from a family lacking in social status. So it's definitely tough to live in a family of traditional Japanese thinking, when they seem to think the world is the same as it was 50 years ago.
One more thing I will say about Japanese people; they like to keep their lives on the down low a lot. They like to present a family or just themselves as not needing help. They are very proud people, who would rather die than fail, and heaven forbid they lose some of their honor by receiving help from someone who isn't in the family.
There's a LOT more to it all than that of course, but to keep it short, that's some of the basic foundations. I will say that not all of my family is exactly like that, in fact, a lot of them are pretty Americanized. There are a few who are kind of stuck in the past or in their own little Japanese mindset, but for the most part, we younger generations are pretty American.
My family doesn't include just Japanese though. I am a mutt. I have a white family as well who are quite another story altogether, which I will save for another time, I think. Each family is definitely different, but the combination produced me, so I can't really complain too much, haha.
I think my family is a pretty fun group :) We can have a pretty good time when we're all together and hanging out, though the family drama can be a little annoying at times, but really, who's family is perfectly drama-free?
I love my family, and I don't think I'd trade them for anyone else (okay, maybe one or two of them ;)
"I would rather feel loss, grief, and sorrow than depression; it is better to feel something than nothing at all, but nay, for me to feel this loss would be to have selfishness eating away at my heart; therefore, I sit in an everlasting battle for feeling and control of my mind, as I refuse to let go of that which needs me, and I it."
~T.A.~
I think there's a lot to be said about those who battle depression and actually pull through. It's a tough thing to do, and I know that personally. It's been a long time since I have been depressed, mostly as a result of a change of heart.
I found this quote actually in the drafts I had saved on my blog, and I realized that I actually wrote it about a year after my experiences. To me, this quote isn't really something special, it's simply how I felt then, but I can say that there's a deeper meaning of the quote to me that I can actually connect to at this time in my life. While I don't battle depression today, I do battle the feeling of wanting to give up in certain situations in my life, but the fact that people are either depending on me or need me unknowingly to be there for them, is often what reminds me that taking what seems like the easier road is not always best for everyone involved, just as someone who is considering taking themselves out of this world is most often making a selfish choice.
I found this quote actually in the drafts I had saved on my blog, and I realized that I actually wrote it about a year after my experiences. To me, this quote isn't really something special, it's simply how I felt then, but I can say that there's a deeper meaning of the quote to me that I can actually connect to at this time in my life. While I don't battle depression today, I do battle the feeling of wanting to give up in certain situations in my life, but the fact that people are either depending on me or need me unknowingly to be there for them, is often what reminds me that taking what seems like the easier road is not always best for everyone involved, just as someone who is considering taking themselves out of this world is most often making a selfish choice.
June 12, 2011
May 30, 2011
Random Word of the Moments - Wanton
[won-tn]
–adjective
–adjective
1.
done, shown, used, etc., maliciously or unjustifiably: awanton attack; wanton cruelty.
2.
deliberate and without motive or provocation; uncalled-for;headstrong; willful: Why jeopardize your career in such awanton way?
3.
without regard for what is right, just, humane, etc.; careless;reckless: a wanton attacker of religious convictions.
4.
sexually lawless or unrestrained; loose; lascivious; lewd:wanton behavior.
5.
extravagantly or excessively luxurious, as a person, mannerof living, or style.
6.
luxuriant, as vegetation.
May 22, 2011
Awesome Moment #7
Going to buy something only to find that it is cheaper than you thought it was going to be.
I've experienced this at Kohl's a lot. I'll find something that I really like, and I'll be either excited that it's on sale already or debating on buying it because it is a little spendy. So eventually, I'll decide to get it and return it if I really don't think it's worth the price. So I wait in line, get up to the counter and watch as the nice person behind the cashier's desk scans my purchases up, then I notice that the numbers don't look right, and of course I get excited because it's less than I originally had thought it was! Just makes my day that much more AWESOME :)
I've experienced this at Kohl's a lot. I'll find something that I really like, and I'll be either excited that it's on sale already or debating on buying it because it is a little spendy. So eventually, I'll decide to get it and return it if I really don't think it's worth the price. So I wait in line, get up to the counter and watch as the nice person behind the cashier's desk scans my purchases up, then I notice that the numbers don't look right, and of course I get excited because it's less than I originally had thought it was! Just makes my day that much more AWESOME :)
Hmmm...
I realized just how long it had been since I last wrote something and posted it on my blog, and I decided it was time to start writing again, since I really have to have something to fill my time while I look for a job since I am now out of school for the summer, yay! :)
I built most of a closet/cabinet thing for my room today, which was a most enjoyable experience. I'd finish it, but I simply can't lift 200 or so pounds of cabinet closet thing by myself, so I have to wait on assistance from a family member at present. It barely fit in the designated spot that I had planned for it, so I'm just happy that I can use it soon. If only I could assemble cabinets and stuff for a job... I would be a happy camper, lemme tell ya. Maybe I'll apply at Home Depot again ;)
Recently, I have found that I definitely need space. By that I mean, I definitely need my alone time, my time away from certain people, or I am just a "wonderful" person to be around, haha. That said, I've learned to limit the time spent with people who make me easily irritated, so as to not be a grouch to the other people I am around on a more constant basis simply because I'm frustrated with the other people. It amazes me that the simple things like this are so hard to figure out sometimes... I guess being able to step back and get a new perspective can be a tough call sometimes. Figures. I'm good at helping other people solve their problems, but when it comes to me, I'm as blind as a bat.
I built most of a closet/cabinet thing for my room today, which was a most enjoyable experience. I'd finish it, but I simply can't lift 200 or so pounds of cabinet closet thing by myself, so I have to wait on assistance from a family member at present. It barely fit in the designated spot that I had planned for it, so I'm just happy that I can use it soon. If only I could assemble cabinets and stuff for a job... I would be a happy camper, lemme tell ya. Maybe I'll apply at Home Depot again ;)
Recently, I have found that I definitely need space. By that I mean, I definitely need my alone time, my time away from certain people, or I am just a "wonderful" person to be around, haha. That said, I've learned to limit the time spent with people who make me easily irritated, so as to not be a grouch to the other people I am around on a more constant basis simply because I'm frustrated with the other people. It amazes me that the simple things like this are so hard to figure out sometimes... I guess being able to step back and get a new perspective can be a tough call sometimes. Figures. I'm good at helping other people solve their problems, but when it comes to me, I'm as blind as a bat.
March 25, 2011
Impressionable
I have found that I am very impressionable. I pick up moods, emotions, sayings, and other things, even things like foreign accents easily and quickly.
This can be a good thing or a bad thing. Good because it means I can learn quickly, I can adapt easily, etc., but bad because, if there are negative stimuli around, I will equally as easily and quickly pick them up, adapt, etc.
An example would be cussing. When I'm either around someone who cusses, or watching a lot of TV or movies with swearing in them, or even just listening to music that has swear words in it, stuff like that, I feel the urge to swear more often. I don't often cuss, but I am reminded of the movie, Dear John. At one point, John tells Savannah that she can't have any faults, it's just not possible in his mind, to which she tells him something like, "I curse. Constantly. In my head there is a never-ending string of curse words." People have asked me if I ever use cuss words, and I compare myself to this line in that movie. I'm not kidding either lol, but it's a great way of describing of how hearing profanity affects me.
Another example would be when I'm around people who talk a lot or have unusual ways of speaking. I will talk more or start to use their atypical style of speech, and the list goes on.
Since I am this way, I have learned that I need to be very careful of who and what I am exposed to. To me, monitoring what is put in is crucial to controlling what comes out.
This can be a good thing or a bad thing. Good because it means I can learn quickly, I can adapt easily, etc., but bad because, if there are negative stimuli around, I will equally as easily and quickly pick them up, adapt, etc.
An example would be cussing. When I'm either around someone who cusses, or watching a lot of TV or movies with swearing in them, or even just listening to music that has swear words in it, stuff like that, I feel the urge to swear more often. I don't often cuss, but I am reminded of the movie, Dear John. At one point, John tells Savannah that she can't have any faults, it's just not possible in his mind, to which she tells him something like, "I curse. Constantly. In my head there is a never-ending string of curse words." People have asked me if I ever use cuss words, and I compare myself to this line in that movie. I'm not kidding either lol, but it's a great way of describing of how hearing profanity affects me.
Another example would be when I'm around people who talk a lot or have unusual ways of speaking. I will talk more or start to use their atypical style of speech, and the list goes on.
Since I am this way, I have learned that I need to be very careful of who and what I am exposed to. To me, monitoring what is put in is crucial to controlling what comes out.
March 18, 2011
Japan - A Friend in Need
At 2:46 P.M. on March 11, 2011, an earthquake hit the island nation of Japan, causing tsunamis, intensive damage, and rising numbers of missing, dead, and injured people by the hour.
The efforts to help Japan haven't exactly been what I would have expected from such a blessed nation as the United States, but all the same, a lot has been done, money has been raised, and Japan is receiving help. However, as much as I hear about Japan, I don't hear near as much hype about donating as I did when Haiti needed help or even New Orleans...
Being a college student, I don't have a lot of money. I have enough to pay for books, gas, and food, but I don't have a job, so it only will last for so long. I am very blessed to have what I do, and I know this, especially hearing about all the troubles that Japan is living with on a daily basis. Thousands dead, injured and missing.... and I complain about getting up at 5:30 A.M. It's incredibly sad how most of us think here in America. We buy these huge cars, like the Ford F250, and we park them in mall parking lots, shopping for God knows what, a majority of which we don't need. We shout that there's nothing at all to eat in the house, when the fridge is full of edible things, the pantry with equally edible things. What is this?
I truly wish I had some way to help the people of Japan. I feel for them, especially since I myself am of Japanese descent. It's not enough though. There must be something I can do.
I decided that, since I can't give money, time, food, or any other sort of help, that I must simply live in a way that is not wasteful or stupid, for lack of better words. I want to live simply, buying what I need, occasionally what I want. Learning to live and not complain about the silly things that I so often complain about, what does it matter that I don't want to eat a sandwich for the 7th time this week? How many others are starving or just wondering where their family is? where their friends are? I accuse all these people of living in a way that is over the top, mostly based off of wants, rather than need, perhaps it's time to practice what I preach?
The efforts to help Japan haven't exactly been what I would have expected from such a blessed nation as the United States, but all the same, a lot has been done, money has been raised, and Japan is receiving help. However, as much as I hear about Japan, I don't hear near as much hype about donating as I did when Haiti needed help or even New Orleans...
Being a college student, I don't have a lot of money. I have enough to pay for books, gas, and food, but I don't have a job, so it only will last for so long. I am very blessed to have what I do, and I know this, especially hearing about all the troubles that Japan is living with on a daily basis. Thousands dead, injured and missing.... and I complain about getting up at 5:30 A.M. It's incredibly sad how most of us think here in America. We buy these huge cars, like the Ford F250, and we park them in mall parking lots, shopping for God knows what, a majority of which we don't need. We shout that there's nothing at all to eat in the house, when the fridge is full of edible things, the pantry with equally edible things. What is this?
I truly wish I had some way to help the people of Japan. I feel for them, especially since I myself am of Japanese descent. It's not enough though. There must be something I can do.
I decided that, since I can't give money, time, food, or any other sort of help, that I must simply live in a way that is not wasteful or stupid, for lack of better words. I want to live simply, buying what I need, occasionally what I want. Learning to live and not complain about the silly things that I so often complain about, what does it matter that I don't want to eat a sandwich for the 7th time this week? How many others are starving or just wondering where their family is? where their friends are? I accuse all these people of living in a way that is over the top, mostly based off of wants, rather than need, perhaps it's time to practice what I preach?
March 2, 2011
Awesome Moment #6
Acing a test
I gotta say that when you study really well for a test and completely blank on it or just studied completely wrong, it really just sucks. However, there are always those times when you study, you feel ready, and you enter that test time feeling good. You know you got the answers right because you are sure of what you studied, and you know without a doubt that the answers you gave were right on. When you get back your results, you expect the A you deserve, and when you see it, you just swell up with happiness.
And of course, there are those times when you didn't study as well as you could have, and you are stressing about how you did. You cringe when the professor or teacher passes back the tests, and then, you see your grade, at least 20% higher than you expected.... What an even better feeling!! It's definitely AWESOME, that's for sure :)
And of course, there are those times when you didn't study as well as you could have, and you are stressing about how you did. You cringe when the professor or teacher passes back the tests, and then, you see your grade, at least 20% higher than you expected.... What an even better feeling!! It's definitely AWESOME, that's for sure :)
February 27, 2011
Awesome Moment #5
Eating freshly made bread
Have you ever had a piece of bread that just came out of the oven? It just melts in your mouth, and you can hardly keep yourself from saying "Mmmm...." You can feel the little streams of steam coming from it and softly hitting your face, butter melts right away on it, and it's just sooooo soft in your mouth. Enough said... fresh bread is just plain AWESOME and that's all there is to it.
Have you ever had a piece of bread that just came out of the oven? It just melts in your mouth, and you can hardly keep yourself from saying "Mmmm...." You can feel the little streams of steam coming from it and softly hitting your face, butter melts right away on it, and it's just sooooo soft in your mouth. Enough said... fresh bread is just plain AWESOME and that's all there is to it.
February 26, 2011
Awesome Moment #4
The grade on a test that surpassed all you ever even hoped for :)
Whether you studied BIG time but felt like you bombed it, or you didn't study at all, getting an incredible grade on a test, when you didn't expect it at all is just plain AWESOME.
Whether you studied BIG time but felt like you bombed it, or you didn't study at all, getting an incredible grade on a test, when you didn't expect it at all is just plain AWESOME.
February 24, 2011
Awesome Moment #3
That moment when you realize you aren't sick anymore.
I don't know about you, but after I'm sick for a while, I kinda get used to it and I don't notice the sneezing and runny nose as much as I did before. Then comes that day when I wake up completely healthy again, and I realize that I can breathe through my nose, that no matter how hard I laugh, I won't cough, that I don't have to keep track of my nose and its contents, that I'm not too hot or too cold, that I feel strong again, that those aches aren't bothering me or impairing my abilities anymore. It's that feeling of invincibility that feels so amazing. We are so used to being vulnerable and weak that when we regain our full strength, we feel so AWESOME.
I don't know about you, but after I'm sick for a while, I kinda get used to it and I don't notice the sneezing and runny nose as much as I did before. Then comes that day when I wake up completely healthy again, and I realize that I can breathe through my nose, that no matter how hard I laugh, I won't cough, that I don't have to keep track of my nose and its contents, that I'm not too hot or too cold, that I feel strong again, that those aches aren't bothering me or impairing my abilities anymore. It's that feeling of invincibility that feels so amazing. We are so used to being vulnerable and weak that when we regain our full strength, we feel so AWESOME.
February 20, 2011
Quote of the Day - In Love
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
~St. Augustine~
Captain Corelli's Mandolin
February 19, 2011
Far far away
When I was younger, my family was a military family. My dad was in the U.S. Army, and we moved about every three years. I have lived all over the place: Germany, Idaho, California, Hawaii, and Texas. I loved experiencing each place, and although I hated leaving all my friends and the little things I loved about each home and town behind, I soon obtained the ability to move and disconnect from whatever had been there, even the people. It's been both a blessing and a curse for me to have learned that, but for my life, I think I needed it a lot.
For the past day, more or less, I have been somewhat helping a family whom I am friends with pack so they can move to Texas. Not being the one to move away, but rather be the one to let go, I have found that it is harder for me to be left behind. It's funny how restless I am becoming. It's like I feel the need to pack up and go with them, get out of here, it's been four and something years since I moved last. A year and some past due the time I would normally leave a home. This is the first time I have had a decently permanent home, and I don't think I can stay where I am much longer haha. I am anxious to get out of where I am, to leave it behind and start fresh once again.
Perhaps, it is time for some sort of trip for me. I have the opportunity to go to Hawaii and/or Connecticut, which would both be awesome :) Hawaii would be awesome because I have amazing friends and family there, and I loooove the sunshine and beaches over there; I miss it soooo much sometimes. Connecticut would be cool to visit because I have a relative over there, and I've never ever been to the east coast.
Well, no matter what happens, it will be tough to say goodbye to a family that I have added to the patchwork family I have found through the years I've been on this planet. They will definitely be missed. I love those guys :)
Godspeed and God bless you guys!
For the past day, more or less, I have been somewhat helping a family whom I am friends with pack so they can move to Texas. Not being the one to move away, but rather be the one to let go, I have found that it is harder for me to be left behind. It's funny how restless I am becoming. It's like I feel the need to pack up and go with them, get out of here, it's been four and something years since I moved last. A year and some past due the time I would normally leave a home. This is the first time I have had a decently permanent home, and I don't think I can stay where I am much longer haha. I am anxious to get out of where I am, to leave it behind and start fresh once again.
Perhaps, it is time for some sort of trip for me. I have the opportunity to go to Hawaii and/or Connecticut, which would both be awesome :) Hawaii would be awesome because I have amazing friends and family there, and I loooove the sunshine and beaches over there; I miss it soooo much sometimes. Connecticut would be cool to visit because I have a relative over there, and I've never ever been to the east coast.
Well, no matter what happens, it will be tough to say goodbye to a family that I have added to the patchwork family I have found through the years I've been on this planet. They will definitely be missed. I love those guys :)
Godspeed and God bless you guys!
February 14, 2011
Valentine's Day
I am one of those strange girls who really does NOT like Valentine's Day. There's just something about how guys always seem so unsure or panicked or even just hopeless on or right before or even in the weeks before this holiday that makes me dislike the implications of February 14th.
I can understand why people enjoy this holiday; it can be very fun! As a kid, I loooooved buying those little Valentine's and hoped immensely that I would get a whole bunch of them that year. When I got into the beginning of dating years, I realized how much I really didn't like this day haha. It always seemed that I was either alone, or about to be alone on Valentine's Day. I felt for all the other people who were single out there and saw all their friends go out and be happy on those days. I didn't like feeling left out or extra lonely because everyone else was seemingly with someone. It always seemed like the people who NO ONE wanted to be with dating wise were the ones who celebrated Valentine's Day not as what it is, but as S.A.D. Day, better known as Single Awareness Day. I remember creating an event on Facebook inviting all my friends to celebrate their singledom... I wasn't happy being single at the time, but hey, lets at least try to have a good time right?
Anyway, this year was the first year that I have actually had a significant other with me to celebrate this crazy holiday. He seemed a bit panicked about what to get me, and me, being allergic to chocolate, told him just to get me a box of chocolates and call it good haha. He gave me a sarcastic "yeah" all drawn out with a hint of rolling his eyes at me. Even now, having someone to share this day with, I didn't really like it. Yeah, I did have fun. We had a lovely day together yesterday (I have school ALL day today, so there was no use trying to do anything today lol), and we both enjoyed the cards we got for each other. The day was peaceful and happy, but, when I went to Walmart to pick up some stuff, I saw all the guys in there, picking through the aisles to see if they could find cards, candy, flowers, and balloons for their ladies.
I guess the reason I don't like this particular holiday is because it often seems to be all about the gifts. I hate the fact that guys all over the nation are freaking out because they don't know what to get their lovely ladies, and I really don't like all the fake love that flies around. As silly as it all may sound, that's how I see it.
As for me, I love just being able to spend quality time with my boy :) I could care less if he didn't get me anything, I would be perfectly happy with a box of those random noodles and seasoning packets cooked up and sharing it at his place just enjoying each other's company, maybe going for a walk or watching a movie. Something simple. I guess it is what it is haha, and silly little me can't change it.
I can understand why people enjoy this holiday; it can be very fun! As a kid, I loooooved buying those little Valentine's and hoped immensely that I would get a whole bunch of them that year. When I got into the beginning of dating years, I realized how much I really didn't like this day haha. It always seemed that I was either alone, or about to be alone on Valentine's Day. I felt for all the other people who were single out there and saw all their friends go out and be happy on those days. I didn't like feeling left out or extra lonely because everyone else was seemingly with someone. It always seemed like the people who NO ONE wanted to be with dating wise were the ones who celebrated Valentine's Day not as what it is, but as S.A.D. Day, better known as Single Awareness Day. I remember creating an event on Facebook inviting all my friends to celebrate their singledom... I wasn't happy being single at the time, but hey, lets at least try to have a good time right?
Anyway, this year was the first year that I have actually had a significant other with me to celebrate this crazy holiday. He seemed a bit panicked about what to get me, and me, being allergic to chocolate, told him just to get me a box of chocolates and call it good haha. He gave me a sarcastic "yeah" all drawn out with a hint of rolling his eyes at me. Even now, having someone to share this day with, I didn't really like it. Yeah, I did have fun. We had a lovely day together yesterday (I have school ALL day today, so there was no use trying to do anything today lol), and we both enjoyed the cards we got for each other. The day was peaceful and happy, but, when I went to Walmart to pick up some stuff, I saw all the guys in there, picking through the aisles to see if they could find cards, candy, flowers, and balloons for their ladies.
I guess the reason I don't like this particular holiday is because it often seems to be all about the gifts. I hate the fact that guys all over the nation are freaking out because they don't know what to get their lovely ladies, and I really don't like all the fake love that flies around. As silly as it all may sound, that's how I see it.
As for me, I love just being able to spend quality time with my boy :) I could care less if he didn't get me anything, I would be perfectly happy with a box of those random noodles and seasoning packets cooked up and sharing it at his place just enjoying each other's company, maybe going for a walk or watching a movie. Something simple. I guess it is what it is haha, and silly little me can't change it.
Awesome Moment #2
When you tell someone to watch you do something, and you nail it.
Have you ever had that moment when you tell someone to watch you do something, you get them and yourself all pumped up for this epic moment-to-be, and then you fail epically? haha, oh yeah, kinda sucks. BUT, there's that moment when you tell someone to watch, get stoked and excited and you absolutely couldn't have done it any better! Now that's an epic moment :)
Have you ever had that moment when you tell someone to watch you do something, you get them and yourself all pumped up for this epic moment-to-be, and then you fail epically? haha, oh yeah, kinda sucks. BUT, there's that moment when you tell someone to watch, get stoked and excited and you absolutely couldn't have done it any better! Now that's an epic moment :)
February 11, 2011
Quote of the Day - Battle within
"It's impossible." said pride.
"It's risky." said experience.
"It's pointless." said reason.
"Give it a try." whispered the heart.
"It's risky." said experience.
"It's pointless." said reason.
"Give it a try." whispered the heart.
February 9, 2011
Quote of the Day - Blindness
In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is stoned to death.
~Joan D. Vinge~
February 8, 2011
Shoulders
I realized the other day that I always seem to be the shoulder that others use when they need one, whether it be to cry on one, lean on one, or have loaded up with their burdens for a while so they don't have to carry them for a time. Don't get me wrong, I love being that for other people, but a shoulder does need some support every now and then, right?
When I was realizing these things, I also came to see that I don't have anyone to lean on, to vent to, or to cry to. I mean, yeah, there is one person, but when that person is the one I'm crying about, or upset with, or confused about, who do I go to? Well, I can't go to anyone because the people I would think to go to either really don't ever help, or they will get upset with me if I confide in them. I guess that's the worst part about wanting to study psychology, you have to be ready to be dumped on constantly, and prepared to not have to vent to others.
This does beg the question though, what am I supposed to do? I really need to talk to someone, but I don't know who... God help me, my journal just isn't enough anymore.
When I was realizing these things, I also came to see that I don't have anyone to lean on, to vent to, or to cry to. I mean, yeah, there is one person, but when that person is the one I'm crying about, or upset with, or confused about, who do I go to? Well, I can't go to anyone because the people I would think to go to either really don't ever help, or they will get upset with me if I confide in them. I guess that's the worst part about wanting to study psychology, you have to be ready to be dumped on constantly, and prepared to not have to vent to others.
This does beg the question though, what am I supposed to do? I really need to talk to someone, but I don't know who... God help me, my journal just isn't enough anymore.
February 7, 2011
Awesome Moment #1
Getting a squirrel to come up to you
I was hanging out on campus in-between my classes today and I saw a squirrel just chillin' near me on the paved walkway. I have heard squirrels make that clicking noise to each other when they communicate about who knows what, so I thought I'd make my best version of that clicking noise and see what the squirrel did. I knew that this had never worked for me before, but hey, it was worth a shot.
I clicked at the squirrel and immediately got his attention. There weren't too many people around so he jumped down from his low perch on the tree trunk he had been clingin' to and made short but swift movements towards me. I kept walking slowly to see what he would do, and he followed me as I continued to make that sound. Finally, I stopped to see if he would come up to me. He came within a couple feet of me and looked at me, he would have came a bit closer, but he saw the other people coming and decided to high-tail it off the main path and off to the side.
After the people passed, I decided to go back and see if I could get the squirrel to come to me again, this time, I had some bread that I wanted to see if he would eat. I sat down on a cement bench near where he was and clicked at him again, after a minute or two, he was close to me once again, and I tossed a small piece of bread at him, which he seemed to like immensely. After he finished it, I held out another piece for him and tried to get him to come and get it out of my hand. Again, after some patience, he did come over and take it cautiously from my extended fingertips. :)
This moment made my day :) It was AWESOME
Awesome
I recently heard about a man named Neil Pasricha, who wrote a book called The Book of Awesome, which has been an international bestseller for 38 weeks. I heard his story, and I was amazed by how he overcame what he did. It kind of inspired me to do something similar, so I introduce you to the Awesome Moments segment, where I will randomly tell you something that I think is awesome. Hope you enjoy :P
Confusion
Have you ever been confused about what you feel? Well, that's where I am right now. Lately, I have discovered that when you do some things, you really have to move forward and not look back. There's no changing what has been done, and you have to live with it once it's been done. One of those things is grades, once you fail something, you really don't have the time to sit and mull over it, you just have to glance at it, see what needs to be done and get going on a plan to get up to at least close to where you want to be. Another would be saying something that really should just not have been said. Can't really go back and change it, but you can either apologize or, if that really won't do anything, live with what you've done. It sucks. Major.
It's also funny how your standard for doing things decline with time, how you become more lax as time moves along. Take my homework for example, I used to be a total perfectionist, all of it had to be perfect, nice and neat, every answer checked twice for accuracy. Now, I just get through the stuff, double check some things that I'm not 100% sure on, and then move on to the next task at hand. And there's how I used to be able to eat a balanced day's worth of food, healthy, not too much, not too little. I just ate when I was hungry. Now I can't seem to eat what would be smart and at just the right amount. The changes that have happened to what I used to be and what I am are a bit irritating to be honest.
All of these things along with some others are making my life stressful in the emotional and mental aspects. Learning how to deal with these issues is something entirely different altogether really. First, you have to learn what's really eating at you, so find the real issue, the root of the stress because the root is what is really causing all these other things to bother you in the first place. Then, once you've found it, you have to figure out how to fix it so that the root is no longer causing problems, which usually means digging it out of your life completely. After the root is gone, you have to learn to live without it there, which is really the hardest part, because you were so used to it being there that you want it there again to bring back the normalcy that you once enjoyed so much. I don't know about you, but I don't like change very much for the most part. Once I get used to it, I'm okay, but nothing seems right at first.
After all that, you come back and ask yourself, now what?
It's also funny how your standard for doing things decline with time, how you become more lax as time moves along. Take my homework for example, I used to be a total perfectionist, all of it had to be perfect, nice and neat, every answer checked twice for accuracy. Now, I just get through the stuff, double check some things that I'm not 100% sure on, and then move on to the next task at hand. And there's how I used to be able to eat a balanced day's worth of food, healthy, not too much, not too little. I just ate when I was hungry. Now I can't seem to eat what would be smart and at just the right amount. The changes that have happened to what I used to be and what I am are a bit irritating to be honest.
All of these things along with some others are making my life stressful in the emotional and mental aspects. Learning how to deal with these issues is something entirely different altogether really. First, you have to learn what's really eating at you, so find the real issue, the root of the stress because the root is what is really causing all these other things to bother you in the first place. Then, once you've found it, you have to figure out how to fix it so that the root is no longer causing problems, which usually means digging it out of your life completely. After the root is gone, you have to learn to live without it there, which is really the hardest part, because you were so used to it being there that you want it there again to bring back the normalcy that you once enjoyed so much. I don't know about you, but I don't like change very much for the most part. Once I get used to it, I'm okay, but nothing seems right at first.
After all that, you come back and ask yourself, now what?
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