Awesome Moment #5

Eating freshly made bread
 
Have you ever had a piece of bread that just came out of the oven?  It just melts in your mouth, and you can hardly keep yourself from saying "Mmmm...."  You can feel the little streams of steam coming from it and softly hitting your face, butter melts right away on it, and it's just sooooo soft in your mouth.  Enough said... fresh bread is just plain AWESOME and that's all there is to it.

Awesome Moment #4

The grade on a test that surpassed all you ever even hoped for :)

Whether you studied BIG time but felt like you bombed it, or you didn't study at all, getting an incredible grade on a test, when you didn't expect it at all is just plain AWESOME.  

Awesome Moment #3

That moment when you realize you aren't sick anymore.

I don't know about you, but after I'm sick for a while, I kinda get used to it and I don't notice the sneezing and runny nose as much as I did before.  Then comes that day when I wake up completely healthy again, and I realize that I can breathe through my nose, that no matter how hard I laugh, I won't cough, that I don't have to keep track of my nose and its contents, that I'm not too hot or too cold, that I feel strong again, that those aches aren't bothering me or impairing my abilities anymore.  It's that feeling of invincibility that feels so amazing.  We are so used to being vulnerable and weak that when we regain our full strength, we feel so AWESOME.

Quote of the Day - In Love

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

~St. Augustine~

Captain Corelli's Mandolin

This is a song I was recently introduced to by a friend of mine, and I was blown away by the depth and feeling of Adam Lambert's voice.  The original was done by Michael Bublé, but I think that Adam blows him out of the water.  Hope you enjoy :)

Far far away

When I was younger, my family was a military family.  My dad was in the U.S. Army, and we moved about every three years.  I have lived all over the place: Germany, Idaho, California, Hawaii, and Texas.  I loved experiencing each place, and although I hated leaving all my friends and the little things I loved about each home and town behind, I soon obtained the ability to move and disconnect from whatever had been there, even the people.  It's been both a blessing and a curse for me to have learned that, but for my life, I think I needed it a lot.

For the past day, more or less, I have been somewhat helping a family whom I am friends with pack so they can move to Texas.  Not being the one to move away, but rather be the one to let go, I have found that it is harder for me to be left behind.  It's funny how restless I am becoming.  It's like I feel the need to pack up and go with them, get out of here, it's been four and something years since I moved last.  A year and some past due the time I would normally leave a home.  This is the first time I have had a decently permanent home, and I don't think I can stay where I am much longer haha.  I am anxious to get out of where I am, to leave it behind and start fresh once again.

Perhaps, it is time for some sort of trip for me.  I have the opportunity to go to Hawaii and/or Connecticut, which would both be awesome :)  Hawaii would be awesome because I have amazing friends and family there, and I loooove the sunshine and beaches over there; I miss it soooo much sometimes.  Connecticut would be cool to visit because I have a relative over there, and I've never ever been to the east coast.

Well, no matter what happens, it will be tough to say goodbye to a family that I have added to the patchwork family I have found through the years I've been on this planet.  They will definitely be missed.  I love those guys :)

Godspeed and God bless you guys!

Valentine's Day

I am one of those strange girls who really does NOT like Valentine's Day.  There's just something about how guys always seem so unsure or panicked or even just hopeless on or right before or even in the weeks before this holiday that makes me dislike the implications of February 14th. 

I can understand why people enjoy this holiday; it can be very fun!  As a kid, I loooooved buying those little Valentine's and hoped immensely that I would get a whole bunch of them that year.  When I got into the beginning of dating years, I realized how much I really didn't like this day haha.  It always seemed that I was either alone, or about to be alone on Valentine's Day.  I felt for all the other people who were single out there and saw all their friends go out and be happy on those days.  I didn't like feeling left out or extra lonely because everyone else was seemingly with someone.  It always seemed like the people who NO ONE wanted to be with dating wise were the ones who celebrated Valentine's Day not as what it is, but as S.A.D. Day, better known as Single Awareness Day.  I remember creating an event on Facebook inviting all my friends to celebrate their singledom... I wasn't happy being single at the time, but hey, lets at least try to have a good time right?

Anyway, this year was the first year that I have actually had a significant other with me to celebrate this crazy holiday.  He seemed a bit panicked about what to get me, and me, being allergic to chocolate, told him just to get me a box of chocolates and call it good haha.  He gave me a sarcastic "yeah" all drawn out with a hint of rolling his eyes at me.  Even now, having someone to share this day with, I didn't really like it.  Yeah, I did have fun.  We had a lovely day together yesterday (I have school ALL day today, so there was no use trying to do anything today lol), and we both enjoyed the cards we got for each other.  The day was peaceful and happy, but, when I went to Walmart to pick up some stuff, I saw all the guys in there, picking through the aisles to see if they could find cards, candy, flowers, and balloons for their ladies. 

I guess the reason I don't like this particular holiday is because it often seems to be all about the gifts.  I hate the fact that guys all over the nation are freaking out because they don't know what to get their lovely ladies, and I really don't like all the fake love that flies around.  As silly as it all may sound, that's how I see it. 
As for me, I love just being able to spend quality time with my boy :)  I could care less if he didn't get me anything, I would be perfectly happy with a box of those random noodles and seasoning packets cooked up and sharing it at his place just enjoying each other's company, maybe going for a walk or watching a movie.  Something simple.  I guess it is what it is haha, and silly little me can't change it.

Awesome Moment #2

When you tell someone to watch you do something, and you nail it.

Have you ever had that moment when you tell someone to watch you do something, you get them and yourself all pumped up for this epic moment-to-be, and then you fail epically? haha, oh yeah, kinda sucks.  BUT, there's that moment when you tell someone to watch, get stoked and excited and you absolutely couldn't have done it any better!  Now that's an epic moment :)

Quote of the Day - Battle within

"It's impossible." said pride.
"It's risky." said experience.
"It's pointless." said reason.
"Give it a try." whispered the heart.

Quote of the Day - Blindness

In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is stoned to death.

~Joan D. Vinge~

Shoulders

I realized the other day that I always seem to be the shoulder that others use when they need one, whether it be to cry on one, lean on one, or have loaded up with their burdens for a while so they don't have to carry them for a time.  Don't get me wrong, I love being that for other people, but a shoulder does need some support every now and then, right?

When I was realizing these things, I also came to see that I don't have anyone to lean on, to vent to, or to cry to.  I mean, yeah, there is one person, but when that person is the one I'm crying about, or upset with, or confused about, who do I go to?  Well, I can't go to anyone because the people I would think to go to either really don't ever help, or they will get upset with me if I confide in them.  I guess that's the worst part about wanting to study psychology, you have to be ready to be dumped on constantly, and prepared to not have to vent to others. 

This does beg the question though, what am I supposed to do?  I really need to talk to someone, but I don't know who...  God help me, my journal just isn't enough anymore.

Awesome Moment #1

Getting a squirrel to come up to you

I was hanging out on campus in-between my classes today and I saw a squirrel just chillin' near me on the paved walkway.  I have heard squirrels make that clicking noise to each other when they communicate about who knows what, so I thought I'd make my best version of that clicking noise and see what the squirrel did.  I knew that this had never worked for me before, but hey, it was worth a shot.  
I clicked at the squirrel and immediately got his attention.  There weren't too many people around so he jumped down from his low perch on the tree trunk he had been clingin' to and made short but swift movements towards me.  I kept walking slowly to see what he would do, and he followed me as I continued to make that sound.  Finally, I stopped to see if he would come up to me.  He came within a couple feet of me and looked at me, he would have came a bit closer, but he saw the other people coming and decided to high-tail it off the main path and off to the side.
After the people passed, I decided to go back and see if I could get the squirrel to come to me again, this time, I had some bread that I wanted to see if he would eat.  I sat down on a cement bench near where he was and clicked at him again, after a minute or two, he was close to me once again, and I tossed a small piece of bread at him, which he seemed to like immensely.  After he finished it, I held out another piece for him and tried to get him to come and get it out of my hand.  Again, after some patience, he did come over and take it cautiously from my extended fingertips. :)

This moment made my day :)  It was AWESOME

Quote of the Day - Mankind

"I love mankind, he said, "but I find to my amazement that the more I love mankind as a whole, the less I love individual people."

 ~Fyodor Dostoevsky~

Awesome

I recently heard about a man named Neil Pasricha, who wrote a book called The Book of Awesome, which has been an international bestseller for 38 weeks.  I heard his story, and I was amazed by how he overcame what he did.  It kind of inspired me to do something similar, so I introduce you to the Awesome Moments segment, where I will randomly tell you something that I think is awesome.  Hope you enjoy :P

Confusion

Have you ever been confused about what you feel?  Well, that's where I am right now.  Lately, I have discovered that when you do some things, you really have to move forward and not look back.  There's no changing what has been done, and you have to live with it once it's been done.  One of those things is grades, once you fail something, you really don't have the time to sit and mull over it, you just have to glance at it, see what needs to be done and get going on a plan to get up to at least close to where you want to be.  Another would be saying something that really should just not have been said.  Can't really go back and change it, but you can either apologize or, if that really won't do anything, live with what you've done.  It sucks.  Major.

It's also funny how your standard for doing things decline with time, how you become more lax as time moves along.  Take my homework for example, I used to be a total perfectionist, all of it had to be perfect, nice and neat, every answer checked twice for accuracy.  Now, I just get through the stuff, double check some things that I'm not 100% sure on, and then move on to the next task at hand.  And there's how I used to be able to eat a balanced day's worth of food, healthy, not too much, not too little.  I just ate when I was hungry.  Now I can't seem to eat what would be smart and at just the right amount.  The changes that have happened to what I used to be and what I am are a bit irritating to be honest.

All of these things along with some others are making my life stressful in the emotional and mental aspects.  Learning how to deal with these issues is something entirely different altogether really.  First, you have to learn what's really eating at you, so find the real issue, the root of the stress because the root is what is really causing all these other things to bother you in the first place.  Then, once you've found it, you have to figure out how to fix it so that the root is no longer causing problems, which usually means digging it out of your life completely.  After the root is gone, you have to learn to live without it there, which is really the hardest part, because you were so used to it being there that you want it there again to bring back the normalcy that you once enjoyed so much.  I don't know about you, but I don't like change very much for the most part.  Once I get used to it, I'm okay, but nothing seems right at first.

After all that, you come back and ask yourself, now what?

Quote of the Day - Truth and Lies

"It is always the best policy to speak the truth -- unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar."

~Jerome K. Jerome~

Quote of the Day - Kindness

"Kindness is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see." 

~Mark Twain~