Dealing with Disappointment

Today I found out that I was dropped from my favorite class this semester. I had been praying soooo hard to get this class, and my heart sunk as soon as I realized it was true. It's funny how you always hear these stories of how God did amazing things and people got all that they had hoped for and everything worked out in the end. Rarely do you hear a story of an individual saying that they lost the big game even though they prayed soooo hard or that they failed a class despite their fervent talks with God on the subject.

So I'd like to be among the unusual, as is normal for me. I was really hoping for this class. I did all the assignment on time, made sure to arrive to class early, sat in a seat that allowed me a good view of the board to take notes, etc. Then, I checked my status on the wait list online.... dropped. I was so disappointed. I loooove math lol. Yeah, yeah, typical Asian I know... Anyway, so I found out that I was no longer in it, and first, I just sat there in shock. God hasn't said no to me in a while, really. It was an awakening that not everything I want is in His will. No duh, yeah I know.

The weird thing about it all was that I wasn't upset, mad, or angry. It was like I had a simple peace about it mingled with some sadness and crushed hope. Perhaps the lesson of the day is that, in order to have peace and understanding of situations we go through we must put total trust in God, and He will say yes or no and give us happiness either way. There is also the less religious-sounding version: hope for the best and prepare for the worst - which just happens to be my personal motto. :)

I guess I just have a lot of faith lately, and I'm not really all that sure why. Perhaps, I'm growing more mature and learning to take life as it comes, with all the happy moments as well as the moments that it punches me in the gut.... Everyone has to find their place in their lives: who they want to be, how they want to be perceived, who they want to have in their lives, what they want to leave behind as a legacy. Hmmmm... legacies. A new topic to write on??

Cowgirls Don't

It's been said that cowgirls never cry. I disagree.

I think cowgirls do cry, they just do it alone in a pasture or out on their horses or in their bedrooms and hope to God that one time they'll get caught doing it by that one guy who will wrap her in his arms and say it's okay to cry because he'll always be there when she does.

Writing with Change in Mind

"Any form of writing can change the world. Your goal is to find the form that allows you to use every one of your talents in the service of what you consider to be your most important goals. You want to search for what you alone can say and then how you can say it most effectively."

-Mary Pipher in her book, Writing to Change the World-

This idea of writing to change the world intrigues me. Writing has done a lot of good and a lot of damage to the world. Books like Uncle Tom's Cabin and The Diary of Anne Frank as well as thing like news articles and media have made a huge impact on those who have read them for the most part.
I wish to someday write in a way that speaks to people. A way that not only holds them in place wanting to read more, but a way that causes them to think in a new way or take action that they never would have before or even just change the way they live because they have seen a new light on an old subject.

Hopefully, my writing is somewhat interesting now haha, since I do have some people that read this stuff. However, I will continue to strive to make what I write more connect-able to the world or just the little world that I happen to speak to now :)

Oh boy the college life

So, I have decided that so far, I am not liking college as much as I thought I would. However, in my continuing efforts to look at life in a positive light, I have decided to give it all a good chance and keep pushing forward just like I would if I liked what I was doing haha.

I suppose that life in college is just something that I'm not used to. I guess there are things in all of our lives that we don't like, but with me, there are many things I don't like that I eventually grow to tolerate easily or even love doing in the end. I have high hopes that college will be one of those things for me. It better grow on me, or this is going to be the longest four or so years of my life! Haha.

As I thought about why exactly I didn't like college so far, I came to the conclusion that I love the campus, the environment, some of the professors, etc., but I do not like being without a companion to at least have near by in a class or at least to see after class or even just for lunch. The loneliness despite the vast numbers of people roaming campus around me is disheartening honestly, but I figured that I will find friends in time. So, as I like to say to many of my friends, chin up! Everything will work out, no worries. :)

by Chance Johns

These are the streets I use to roam,
Everyday an adventure in a land of my creation,
Jungle and plains,
Deserts and oceans where mine to explore,
My faithful friends always ready for our next challenge,
But as I changed the streets changed,
The jungles torn down and the oceans polluted,
The plans replaced with concrete and the desert a graveyard,
For as I grew my world grew with me ever changing,
My world is now a place of little color and wonder,
The child I once was slowly starts to fade away to dust,
His toys locked away and he’s friends moved on,
And so he waits alone in the empty world he once called his own,

The Skit Guys - David and Goliath

I love these guys :)

Reining in the Tongue

If there is anything that I struggle with, this would probably be the most damaging of them all. I find that it is tough to think while speaking, which is why I find writing an easy alternative. I often find myself saying things I know I'll regret later, especially to those I love the most. I suppose that idea of loving someone and them loving you makes it easier to lash out with the tongue and do some pretty deep damage at times. To me, that person is almost obligated to love you, especially when they're family. It's a sad way to think about things, but unfortunately, it's how most of us usually think, whether consciously or not.

I guess the old saying comes into play here whether talking to or about someone...
"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

So, to all of you out there who I have either cut down with words or made ya look bad somehow, I'm sorry. Love you all! :D

When asked where we they think we are going as a culture, one of the Skit Guys, Tommy Woodard answered with the following (which is only a part, but it caught my attention):

When I was a little kid, I would sit in the back seat lots of times while my dad drove somewhere, and I may not have known where we were going, but I knew it was okay cuz dad was drivin', and that's my attitude on life; I'm not sure where we're goin', but I know my father - my heavenly Father - is drivin'. Not gonna worry about it.

Quote of the Day :)

"We were talking about peaches and how they taste like popcorn."

R.W.

Moving forward

Today was the first day of high school for many of my friends. For me, it's my last free Wednesday before I have my first day of college classes. After months of having endless free time and wondering what on earth to do with it all, I find myself in a solemn mood. I suppose reality took it's toll today, not that I'm sad or dismal, on the contrary I'm silently excited, haha.
I was just an eye-opening thought: I'm moving on, and I didn't even notice.

This is how I heard your day was going...

First, you had trouble getting out of bed....

You had a stiff neck...

You washed your hair and couldn't do a thing with it

Your new diet really doesn't seem to be working out...

You pulled a muscle when you tried to exercise...

Your new hat looked better on you at the store...

You keep losing things...

Your boss chewed you out at work...


You got caught in the rain at lunchtime...

The lunch you had didn't seem to agree with you...

You feel trapped...

Uninvited guests showed up at dinnertime.....

On top of that, you think you're coming down with the flu.

And finally, you're alone in the house at night, and you think you hear a noise in the basement.

Maybe tomorrow will be better......

Just remember, handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it,

just pee on it and walk away!

I'm good, you're good......

I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good, I'm good, you're good.

And now, the word good has absolutely no meaning at all.

Rhetorical?? Questions

I was thinking today about how I talk about whatever happens to happen in my days or just whatever topic comes to mind and gives me some sort of thought that I'd like to share.

Lately, I have been kind of getting to know a little more about the audience I have on this blog, and it is actually a little surprising to know that I even HAVE an audience, haha. I kind of just figured I was talking to myself here, but apparently not, which is awesome! :D

Anyway, I was thinking about the blog and what I write about, and my thoughts turned to what some of my teachers from high school would say about audiences. My speech teacher often mentioned the members of the audience and how a speaker needs to find ways to connect with them. My English teachers, on the other hand, didn't say a whole lot about this, but when writing, one does have to determine who you are writing to, so that you can use appropriate analogies, phrases, nouns, and so forth. In other words, in writing a novel for adults, one uses more intelligent language than one would writing a child's book about animals and the sounds they make.

My point. (Yes, let's get to that, shall we?) As I was thinking about the people who read this stuff, I wondered what they might want to read about. What is going on in their lives? What do they discover on a daily basis?
So, I must ask you, the readers of this rather insignificant blog, what do you want to read? Are there things you ponder and tinker with in your mind while you go through your days?

I was looking out of my window today and I saw this little new tree in our bushes growing there. I thought that it was sooooo beautiful that I'd share it with you guys :)

Random Word of the Moment - Epiphany

Epiphany - a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

Yet again today, I have had another thought to write about, haha. Well, it was more of an experience really. One of my favorite words is the title of this particular post, and I believe I had one today :)

I was talking to my uncle this evening, and during that conversation we said a prayer together about the stuff going on in our lives and about the people we felt led to pray about. Anyway, during the prayer we had, my uncle mentioned one of the things I am going through, and he asked God that I would be a bridge that brings some of my family together (long story, haha). It was then that it hit me. See, I have been searching for a passion in my life - something I could really pursue, especially going into college and attempting to find a major to complete. Anyway, the word bridge really struck something within me, and I felt as if I had found my passion.

I love to help people. Especially giving advice, pep talks, moral support, and stuff like that. I have been told that I am good at this sort of thing, and I really do enjoy doing it. However, it never occurred to me that I had a passion for it.
It's kind of like I have a psychological side to me that can easily relate to people and knows what to say that will help them out. Not to sound like I'm bragging or anything, but it's how I feel. It just amazes me that I have a gift in that area. I realized that since I have been through a lot in my short life, I can relate to a lot of people because those very experiences have given me a sense of a wide variety of emotions and feelings. All of those rough times in my life have been the building blocks for the passion I have discovered today.

And jumping off of that thought, people ask why bad things happen to good people; I'm not saying that I am a good person, but I am saying that, perhaps, "bad" things happen so that we will grow as individuals. Even if the "good" person loses a lot or even their life in the process, the people around them are given the chance to become what they never could have become before. Life never seems so sweet until you've tasted death in one way or another, whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual.

Juuuuuuuuuust go away...

I sometimes find myself annoyed by certain people. It is interesting how some people get annoyed by particular people and other people find those same individuals fun to be around.
Personally, I find people who talk to fill the silence somewhat annoying. To me, there is a time when the silence is needed to reflect on the conversation at hand and evaluate one's next words. Granted, some conversations do continue for hours with no respite, and that is fine if the words have some sort of meaning to those present and are not just there to make the air seem less empty.
Then there are the repeaters. These are the individuals who, for some reason, feel that they need to say something time and time again. Yes, emphasis is sometimes important or even powerful, but repeating things throughout a conversation when there is no need for emphasis of any kind can be slightly nerve-racking.
Ah, yes, the passionate. I will be the first to admit that I can have this very characteristic. The passionate find one topic that gets their heart pumping or their mind racing and could go on and on and on about it, to anyone and everyone who will listen - the lobbyists of the world, so to speak. As I said, if you can get me on a topic that I either have very strong opinions about or just have a passion for, you might be there a while, especially if you are equally or close to equally intrigued by that very subject. Yes, I know I'm annoying to some people when I get going, but it's easy to do, I suppose. It is ironic that the very thing I am prone to is the thing that I can be very annoyed with someone else about. It would depend on what in particular they are passionate about of course, but there are also times when a topic has been exhausted and no new information is being presented. Kind of the whole beating a dead horse concept, I guess, but I digress, it is sometimes annoying all the same.

As I was thinking about annoyances and the varying types, it occurred to me, especially when talking about the passionate, that I am probably just as annoying to my buds and those around me as some people are to me. This is, of course, why we all can relate to the feeling, for the most part. Most, if not all, of us have things or people that annoy us, and most, if not all, of us are annoying to others, whether it be all the time or just on occasion.
I suppose this is for this reason why we all need patience. Just as much as we desire to express ourselves and have others listen patiently while we rant on about nothing of importance or talk incessantly or just be plain exasperating, we too should be patient while those people who annoy the crap out of us are going at it. Why? Well, I don't know about you, but I'd rather be annoyed and patient, than a hypocrite.

These times of our lives

I have recently been going through a time where I feel as if the choices I need to be making aren't going to be necessarily what I want to be doing, and not even close at that. It is sooo tough to convince myself that I will be happier in the end if I do what needs to be done and move on. Those who are in authority positions around me tell me that I need to be doing this and that, and all of these things. It is in these times that I wonder if still being as young as I am is as good as everyone who's a lot older than me seems to believe it is. I find myself pining to grow, to mature, to be treated as an adult, even though I know I'm not there yet, even though I know I need to be enjoying my last fleeting moments of adolescence before I am thrust into the world of "grown-ups."

As children, we live to grow older, bigger, faster, taller, smarter, better. As teenagers, we focus on becoming older, smarter, more mature, happier. As those who are coming close to shedding the remnants of child-like behavior to become full, working adults find themselves striving to be wiser, more talented, more skilled, better, richer, happier. Adults strain for success, achievement, contentment, acceptance, love. And those who are now looking back on the majority of their lives find themselves wishing for youth, flexibility, and a simple yet somewhat busy life. Granted some of these things can be associated with more than just the age I put them with, but bear with me here; I'll admit that my perception of these facts is most likely distorted because of where and who I am, but all the same, my point is in our youth, we look to the future hoping and wishing, and as the older members later in life, we look to the past hoping and wishing. My wish at present is that I'd learn to be content with where I am in life, age and all.

Adam and Eve - the very first love story

The very first couple on earth... And you thought you had awkward moments xD


Adam & Eve « Videos « The Skit Guys

And here's another live version of the same skit (they are a bit different and both are funny :)

by Chance Johns

blood and ash stain the ground,
brothers and friends lay beside eachother as fate flips a coin,
i walk by a dark shadow on the battlefield,
...
why must man shed blood to bring peace,
why must they destroy what was created,
i have seen wars come and go,
i have seen pain and suffering,
but i can give no hope,
i am the angel of the battle field,
and for as long as there is war i will be here

That ONE moment of pure happiness....

So, I was having a lonely day today, and I was having a hard time bringing myself back to realize that life is good right now, there's no reason to be down just because of a little loneliness. Then, an amazingly good friend unknowingly brought me right out of the lonely stage for a while, which I was very grateful for.
I then went out with a couple of friends to go night fishing and felt that feeling of loneliness sneaking back upon me. The night was beautiful and clear, the moon wasn't out so the stars were clear and shining so wonderfully, there were at least 6 shooting stars, the water was gorgeous, it was sooooo peaceful and calm, and it was the perfect temperature. My two friends that I was with in the group were a couple so there was that third wheel feel almost, but they are really cool so not really, but all the same, I still had that feeling there like, it sure would be nice to have someone to wrap my arms around and hold hands. :) (I have no idea if guys ever get that, but hopefully, it's not just a girl thing....)
Anyway, that little feeling of missing that one person you wish could be there with you came back. I got home, and kinda sat there, still feeling dejected and alone on a Friday night. And then, I got a message from someone. It totally MADE my night. I'm sure pretty much everyone has had that moment of pure unmitigated happiness, where you just KNOW, without a doubt, that NOTHING, and I mean, NOTHING could possibly ruin this day (or night, in my case, haha).

Amazing on so many levels

I was walking on my college campus today, and it occurred to me that I no longer feel as if college is all that imposing as I did 3 months ago. Life seems to be pushing me into new things and telling me that I'll do fine, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise, haha.
I get the feeling that I will do very well here, and I will have the time of my life. I guess my fears of failure are subsiding, and my anxious heart is becoming still and calm. In a way, this place feels like home to me. It may sound weird, especially since I'm not living on campus at the moment or really anytime soon, but all the same, I feel as if this is where I'm supposed to be right now.

I am drawn to the verse that says,

Do not fear for I am with you
Do not be dismayed for I am your God
I will strengthen you and help you
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

What's My Name Again?

I had a random inclination to research names today, and, of course, my own name was one of the ones that I decided to look up. My mom always told me that my name meant "princess" in Greek and "aunt" in Spanish, but I never actually looked that up to see if it was accurate.
After looking through several baby name websites and taking a funny survey on how I felt about being named Tia, I found one site that intrigued me: http://www.behindthename.com/

The page I found and read first was a page that contained the comments other people had posted about what they thought and had researched about the name Tia. I found it interesting to note that my name not only means "princess" in Greek, but it also means "princess" in Egyptian, and it is also a Japanese name derived from the word, Tenshi, meaning "angel." Some of the other comments were negative, or negative, yet funny, or just funny, or random.

The link for this particular page is:

http://www.behindthename.com/comment/view.php?name=tia

Go look up your name :) You might find out something cool or unknown about it...

by Holly Alsleben

As time rolls on-and-on,

as the days of summer go by,

as the heat passes and

as fall is coming upon us...

We will embrace the leaves~

we will see the change in colors around us,

we will see the trees go to sleep as the

embarkment of the first lightly touch of a snowflake gently falls to the ground.

Then to have another year at BSU,

as the football season kicks off,

as the coffee smells fills the air,

as the warm embrace of one another will

fill our hearts with warmth of love and feelings of being loved.

I bought a couple of rings today :)
They are thick sterling silver bands with a saying on each of them.
One says, "Faith" and the cool thing about this ring is that on the inside of the ring there's another little saying on there that reads, " Live by Faith, Not by Sight."
The other says, "One life... One love" I thought that one was pretty sweet :)

Do you have this problem?

Do you have the ID 10 Tee problem??
Oh, well, you might have it then... Check the comments on this blog post to see if you are one of the many people who suffer from this problem.

Oh, and be sure to let me know in the comments if you are one of the people who have this! K, thanks!

Quotes from the Heart...

The following quotes are from unknown origins :)

"Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?"

-Unknown-

10th grade
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

-An email-

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control."

-Unknown-

"WHAT EACH KISS MEANS"
- Kiss on the Forehead: We're cute together .
- Kiss on the Cheek: We're friends.
- Kiss on the Hand: I adore you.
- Kiss on the Neck: I want you, now.
- Kiss on the Shoulder: Your perfect.
- Kiss on the Lips: I LOVE YOU...
____________________________________________________
WHAT EACH GESTURE MEANS:
- Holding Hands: We definitely like each other.
- Holding you tight pressed against each other: I want you.
- Looking into each other's Eyes: I like you, for who you are.
- Playing with Hair: Let's fool around.
- Arms around the Waist: I like you too much to let go.
- Laughing while Kissing: I am completely comfortable with you.
____________________________________________________
ADVICE:
- If you were thinking about someone while reading this, you're definitely

in Love.
____________________________________________________
REQUIREMENTS:
- Add this to ur favorites after reading!!
Or you will have a bad year of Relationships.
____________________________________________________
IF YOU (LIKE), (LOVE), OR (MISS) SOMEONE RIGHT NOW:
- and can't get them out of your head.
- then add this to ur favorites within One Minute and Whoever you are missing

will surprise you.

-Another email-

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, "thats her"....

-Unknown-

If I could be any part of you, I’d be your tears. To be conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

-Unknown-

"Today I caught myself smiling for no reason... then I realized I was thinking about you"

-Unknown-

"Don't say you love me unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it. "

-Anonymous-

"Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."

-Unknown-

Ways To Get To A Girls Heart-- 1. Hug her from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you guys walk next to each other. 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. Dont force her to do ANYTHING! 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Say I love you.....and MEAN IT! 10. Brush the hair out of her eyes 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12. Love her with all your heart Girls- add this if you think its sweet. Guys- add this if you would do any of it

-Unknown-

It's amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces.

-Unknown-

The Unseen Defenders

They are the ones that fight for freedom... The unseen, and many times, the under-appreciated.

Why is it that the very people who make our hopes and dreams a reality are so often overlooked and their work, protested? Unfortunately, war often comes before peace and liberty. There are always times that the people involved may disagree with the cause they fight for, but they still do their duty faithfully.

Instead of marching the streets telling everyone that this war needs to end now, let's take steps to end the war in the right way, by supporting our men overseas and on the home front and working to help the men get home after this job that has already been started is done. Let's not point fingers at who started what, and who is responsible. Isn't it more important that, now that it has begun, it comes to an end and never starts again? This duty has been placed on our shoulders, and we must do more than wave posters at passing cars and at the leaders of this country. Let's march forward, and stop looking back at what could've, should've, yet didn't.

The Begging Questions of the Future

Entering college is going to be quite the experience. There will be a lot of homework, a lot of thinking, miracles will happen, epic failures will occur...
Being an undeclared major person is a tough call. Just registering for classes is difficult. I have a wide variety of interests, and some of them include things I'm not exactly good at, and some things that I'm good at I don't like as much. For example, I don't think I want to be a math professor or even a math high school teacher, but I am pretty good at math, and I love algebra. Yes, I'm one of those odd people who actually likes algebra.
Anyway, I've been trying to get a class schedule established as I am crunched for time since I didn't get into an earlier orientation, and the college website wouldn't allow me to add classes and whatnot. The increasing costs are another thing that makes my eyes get all round and surprised-looking, even though the costs aren't really all that shocking; I expected the costs, just the reality of it is crazy, school shouldn't cost that much if you ask me. I think cost should be determined by grade point average. The higher your GPA, the less you have to pay for tuition and class costs, including books. They could even include housing and loan interest in that, but I'd be satisfied with just the tuition and class costs thing. Oh well, such is life.
Another thing that intrigues me is who I'll become in college. Will my look change? Will I still dress the same after a year in college? I mean, my current look isn't that young, so would I actually change all that much? Another thing... Will I hang out with the same type of people I did in high school? Will I do better in college classes than I did in high school classes?
These are the questions that beg for answers in my mind. And, I have no answers, I guess I'll just find out when I get there ;)

Hang oooooonnnn!!

It is interesting how life seems to just do it's own thing while we do our best to hang on for the ride. I often find myself wondering what could possibly be thrown at me next. While things like hurricanes and earthquakes don't really cause me much concern, matters of the heart and mind often do. To me, natural disasters are somewhat predictable, they aren't fickle, like the heart, or changeable, like the mind. While they may be out of human control, they are bound to end; granted, they tend to leave mass destruction behind, but they also brings people together, and many individuals suddenly become helpful and compassionate.

Matters of the heart and mind are private more often than not and, unless voiced, many times go unnoticed and unfixed. Bad choices lead to problems that effect many people, and many times the results can linger for a lifetime. People can hurt people. People can also help and love people. However, people are unpredictable. One person can say one thing and mean it well, and the other person can take it wrong and then they might stop talking or fight, or of course, they can overlook the misunderstanding and work it out.

Storms all come to an end eventually - in both aspects. I just personally hate the ones involving mind and heart.... They're unnerving, lol.

Leaving It Behind...

I realized this morning while reading over a few of my previous posts, that while it may seem like most of my friends from high school have moved on with their lives, many of them feel the way I have over the past few months. I learned that perhaps, instead of waiting for that phone call, message, text, or chat on the internet, I should be the one to re-instigate the friendship lines, and re-connect with those people...
People like me are afraid to step out and be the change. I have pretty much always been that way, but as a result of a simple experiment, I have found that many people are kind of waiting for everyone else to say the first word and re-establish the companionship that once existed.
So, I've made up my mind to throw caution to the wind and just go for things. What's the worst that can happen?

Thank You for Making Me Who I Am (Copyrighted)

Some things store memories that none of us want to remember
Pictures, letters, toys and rings, and oh so many things
That bring back tears, laughs and smiles
Of so many past days and miles with you...

(Chorus)

I remember your laugh
I remember your face
And all the times we went someplace together
I wish I could bring those times back again
Instead of just rememberin'
And wonderin'
What could've been
If you had stayed around a while longer

Searchin' your name on the internet to find a clue of what you've done without me
Pictures words, page upon page
Show me that you've moved on
Despite my pain
They bring new tears, hope has died
Killing every ounce of pride I had in you

Chorus

How could you step out of my life?
Rippin' me apart on the inside
What's the matter with you?
Don't you realize what you've done?
The life you've torn to pieces...

But you know
The amazing thing is that
I still love you
cuz

I remember your laugh
I remember your face
And every time we went someplace together
I'm glad I can't bring those times back again,
I'm happy just rememberin'
And wonderin'
What could've been
If you had stayed around a while longer

Cuz, I've forgiven you
And all you've done to hurt me
So wherever you are, baby
I just want you to know

I remember your laugh
I remember your face
And every time we went someplace together
I wish it could've been different
But all of these experiences
Have made me
Who I am today
So, baby
So, baby
I just wanna say, thank you
Oh, thank you.

Of Dreams....

I wanted to be a Princess at one point in time, but that didn't really last long because I wasn't much into the "normal" girlie things that most other girls my age were into. Instead of Barbies, babies, and beauty pageant enactments, I loved building things, having competitions on our trampoline with my neighborhood friends, creating a water slide into a kiddie pool out of my swing set slide, playing war and spy, and things like that. One time I even flooded part of our backyard to see what would happen, and I ended up collecting 14 earth worms who were attempting to escape the peril I inflicted upon them without realizing it. Anyway, my dreams after my short girlie stage consisted of being a doctor, saving all the animals in animal shelters and opening my own, becoming a famous singer and actor, becoming a soldier like my dad, and other such dreams.

Then, I grew up a little, and I still knew that many of my dreams were unattainable for me, but I also found that I had changed a lot and so had my dreams. I no longer had a desire to be a doctor, and the animal shelter didn't sound like something I would be interested in doing. I wanted to do something bigger, I guess. I wanted to make a dent in this world - change it in some way. But how?

Often people have these huge dreams of what they want to do in their lives, but they never pursue them. We always hear, "Follow your dreams." Be whoever you want to be. It's a great thought... But I'm sure there are many out there just like me who wonder, how? It's tough to follow your dreams, especially when you grow up and realize that it'll take a lot of work to accomplish all that you want to. Many just abandon their dreams and go into a job that will make money, not make them happy. As I mature and grow as a person, I find more and more that it is important to have dreams and pursue them. The work is well worth it, and even if you don’t succeed, you have the lessons learned and the satisfaction of knowing that you gave it a chance to flourish.

These days, my goals involve graduating from college, buying my first car, buying my first home, and finding that special someone to love and spend the rest of my life with. Don’t be shy, it’s not always what you make of the world, it’s also what you bring to it.