Story of the Day - Prom King Fails

I got the following article from a new part of The Arbiter paper called The Dirty Potato, from Boise, ID.  I in no way claim any credit for the following quoted material.


Former Prom King Now Struggles to Score Date
Rebecca De León

Once the proud ruler of Chief Joseph High School in Moses Lake, Wash., Chad Russell now lives a peaceful life among the commoners as Boise State University. Although his crown still rests proudly on his mother's mantle, Russell chose to humbly attend school and live a life outside of royalty.
Now, the former king of Chief Joseph's A Night at the Oscars Prom 2007 finds himself facing challenges he never dealt with during his reign in Washington. The female populace at this university does not bow to His Highness the way it did when he ruled his high school.
"I'm the same guy, but now, I just keep getting shot down," Russell said.
In high school, if a female attracted Russell's gaze, all he had to do was send one of his loyal minions to deliver an official message  from the king expressing interest. Since it is frowned upon to turn down such a request from His Majesty, it was easy for Russell to have at times even many lady friends.
"That doesn't really work here," Russell said. "It's like nobody even knows I'm king of anything."
Russell's mother, Grace Norris, remains loyal to her son and his empire.
"He'll always be a king to me," she said. "Especially since he doesn't take after his father."
Former students from Chief Joseph High School have mixed feelings about their king's downfall.
"He was always a douchebag," said Alex Meeler, who lost the crown to Russell. "And he said I stole his girl, but I wouldn't touch her with a 10-foot pole. No way."
The elected prom queen differed.
"He was a gentleman," Stacy Peterson said. "But I don't really remember much after the first hour of prom. I think someone spiked the punch."
Although is seems his reputation does not precede him, Russell valiantly keeps his head up and his spirits high.
"I'm sure it'll be fine," he said. "I mean, I've put on a few pounds since them, but it's what's inside that really counts, right?"

This article is fake.